TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE,
COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES,
CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS
TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY & JESUS; Another Look for Christians.
PART ONE OF TWO PARTS
COPYRIGHT JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved.
Copyright 01/12/96 (Revised)
By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
P.O.Box 734, El Centro, CA 92244
oldservant@delphi.com,
lovenchosen@hotmail.com
This work is dedicated with love and honor to Carol Lynn McIntyre of Camelot (3/24/'49),
Beverly Landers Tyler(4/11/'52), Keith Adams, Diane Tava Lovelady, Lua Nguyen,
Marilyn Tyler (7/27/'49) and Paula Dugas.
It is also dedicated to all those who have suffered through divorce and the complexities
of remarriage, and to all of the following:
1. The shattered African polygynist husbands and their families who are made to feel
like second class citizens in the local church because of their polygyny, made to
feel less loved by Christ and made to feel less a child of God by the local "Christians".
2. The broken hearted Chinese polygynist wives and their children in their local
churches who are shunned by the proper members and made to feel less welcome and
spiritually inferior because of their polygynous families.
3. The devastated Burmese polygynist husbands who believe in and have received the
Lord Jesus Christ, but who are rejected and shunned by the local "Christian" church/leader
because they love their wives too much to divorce them.
4. The grieved, stumbled, offended and broken hearted born-again and Spirit sealed
Indian wives and children of the born-again and Spirit sealed husband who loved his
wives and children too much to renounce and repudiate them in order to be baptized
and accepted by the local"Christian' church, and so now live in Christ, denied fellowship
by their local congregation of "Christians".
5. The discouraged Mid-Eastern polygynist husbands who genuinely wanted to know Christ
and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving faith
by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny.
It would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of
the Gospel!
6. The troubled Liberian polygynist wives and children who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny.
It would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting
the Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy
of the Gospel!
7. The broken hearted, stumbled, offended and grieved Kenyan polygynist wives and
their children whose husbands and fathers were forced to reject and renounce them
in order to be baptized and join the local "Christian" church.; especially in the
case where a carnal husband used the church rule as an excuse to get rid of a wife and children
he didn't want.
8. The disconsolate Pakistani polygynist husbands who are stumbled, grieved, offended
and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how badly
they and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church.
9. The grief stricken Bengali polygynist wives and children who are stumbled, grieved,
offended and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of
how badly they and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church.
10. The miserable Thai polygynist husbands who, with grave doubts and troubled hearts,
succumbed to "Christian" pressure to renounce and reject (Malachi 2:13-17) all of
their wives except one to satisfy the demands of some misguided "Christian" leader,
or association of "Christians".
TABLE OF CONTENTS (PLEASE USE YOUR FIND TOOL TO FIND THE CHAPTER BY THE CHAPTER NUMBER)
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED. P.
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. P.
III. DIVORCE DEFINED. P.
IV. & V. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD
SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES! P.
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISNT POLYGYNY ADULTERY? P.
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY COUNTRY? P.
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY? P.
IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE!
P.
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY? P.
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGE? P.
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS? P.
XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE?
P. 112
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED. P.
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/CONCUBINES TO HIS "HAREM". P.
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED MAN? P.
XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE. P.
XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN. P.
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY? P.
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS RULE .P.
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST! P.
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD! P.
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY P. 100
APPENDIX ONE: WHAT MAKES A WEDDING &/OR A MARRIAGE? P.101
APPENDIX TWO: WHEN MUST ONE MARRY? P.103
APPENDIX THREE: THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY IN AN HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT P. 111
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES AND PARADIGMS RECONSIDERED
This study is the result of my own marital experience where I was divorced from my
wife and both of us claimed sincerely and earnestly that we were born again believers
in the Lord Jesus Christ. I was faced with the question, "What does a Christian
do about his/her need to marry when in a divorced-from-one and wanting-to- marrry-another
situation, and he believes that he/she and the Christian exmate are bound to each
other maritally by the Lord until death parts them?" Or ---- "What does a Christian
do in a divorced-from-one and remarried-to-another situation, and he/she believes that
he/she and the Christian exmate are bound to each other maritally by the Lord until
death parts them?" And the moral question: "Is it adultery or is it something else?"
As I read the papers and listen to the news many questions come to my mind. According
to the census department, 40% of Black women never marry. Single parent households
abound. Welfare undermines marriage by giving the mother an artificial and unearned financial independence of the father. It gives them the option of being able to
have a child without having or needing a husband. It is very difficult for most
man to comfortably stay with a woman who doesnt need him and often has a more sure
and steady income than he has. Where are the Black men who love and desire these Black women?
TV news special after news magazine articles after newspaper articles tell about
so many Black men who are in serious trouble with the law. For many this reflects
a economically crippling attitude towards authority, society, their families, their women
and their children. This crisis for so many Black men, not wanted or needed by
their women and rejected by the majority society, is devastating to the Black family.
So what is the solution for sincere Black Christians dealing with the issues of divorce
and remarriage in this context? I believe this document has some radical but realistic
solutions.
What about the widows of Rwanda, Burundi, Somalia, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Sri Lanka and
Bosnia?
Are they doomed to a lifelong widowhood, never to remarry because of the scarcity
of men? Is remarriage not possible where there are so many more women than men?
What kind of life in those countries is a widow or a single mother doomed to when
they are not able to remarry? I believe this document has some radical but realistic solutions
for such people, especially if they are of the Judeo-Christian persuasion.
Our relationships with our mates and our children are second in importance and emotional
intensity only to our relationship with Jesus. In San Diego's Union-Tribune several
months ('95) ago they reported on a study of the effects of divorce that involved
thousands and lasted over 20 years. The social scientists screened the participants
so that they had two groups that basically differed as follows, one whose parents
had divorced or separated and the other group whose parents did not divorce or separate. They found that the average life expectancy was five years longer for the group
whose parents did not divorce. Divorce made a five year difference in the life expectancy
of the two groups.
Dr. Griffith Banning conducted a study of 800 Canadian children.It was reported that
their parents' divorce, death or separation, resulting in the children's felt lack
of love and affection, did greater damage to their growth and development than disease
and all other factors combined.>a
[>a Love, by Leo Buscaglia, Fawcett Crest, NY,1972,p.78
What we do with our marital relationships has a profound effect not only on us, but
on our children, for a lifetime. We already know that a divorce, statistically, usually
results in serious health problems ranging from ulcers and cardiovascular problems
to hormonal and emotional problems. Divorce can devastate us and our loved ones.
How can we afford to let our marriages, which Jesus intended to arenas filled with
love and testimonies of His life changing all-sufficiency, become instead arenas
of suffering, bitterness and hatred --- trophies for the enemy of our souls?
Yet look at the relationship most of us have with our loved ones and our God. Most
of us live our lives devoid of the life changing power and compassionate cherishing
of our living and reigning God. Most of us are falling short of compassionately
cherishing our mates and children. We wonder why we dont see the power of God in our lives.
Yet how can Jesus bless us miraculously and and powerfully intervene in our lives
when we have let ourselves become so entangled in the cares and affairs of our daily
lives that the Spirit in us is chocked and rendered fruitless. It is not just a matter
of seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, which most of us fall
short of by letting TV or other personal pleasures rob us of the time we could spend
with Jesus. It goes even beyond that.
For many of us the question is , Why is our relationship with our living and powerful
God so lifeless and embarrassingly weak? Why is there such a great discrepancy between
the the life changing power of God we believe in, and the disastisfying mediocrity and ineffectiveness of most of our lives? We know that if we walk in His will
and do those things that are pleasing in His sight, He hears our prayers and supernaturally
intervenes in our lives (1Jn3:21-24; 5:14,15), so when we fail to walk in His will and fail to do those things that are pleasing to Him we should not be surprised at
the spiritually impotent lives and testimonies we have. What a tragedy to lose the
battle for the souls of our children and loved ones because we stuck with bad or
foolish choices.
Specifically with this study I try to discover and share what I understand to be His
will for us maritally. I try to show that an adulterous marriage, an adulterous
remarriage, and or an adulterous divorce can gut our walk in the power of our God,
leaving us with an impotent and sterile life and testimony
that is bad enough in and of itself; but when you add the chastening of our God to
an impotent and sterile life, it can be enough to break your heart and spirit. But
isnt that why He sends the chastening of weakness and sickness (1 Cor. 11) or the
chastening of poverty, strife, diseases and animal attacks (Ezek 14) ---- to break our stiff
necks and hard hearts so He, as the potter, can remake us in our confession and repentance?
Are you experiencing this chastening? Do you think it might be due to an ungodly divorce or marriage? Do you wonder what you should do about it? Please read
this study.
This study is written as a wake up call to Christians who have fallen into marriages,
divorces and remarriages that are contrary to the will of God and now want to know
what they should do. A child of God wants to do the will of God (1Jn2:3,4,5).We
know that our God has told us in 1 Pet. 3 that if we fail to live wisely with our wives,
our prayers will be hindered. He has told us that in Isaiah 59:1,2 that he wont
hear our prayers if we fall into disobedience and fail to be Ambassadors of His Love.
This study is for the person who is not sure about the will of God facing a divorce, marriage
or remarriage. This study is for the divorced, the married and the remarried
who find themselves in a situation that neither affords them the peace nor the joy
of the God who longs to fill their lives with both. Hopefully this study will be used
of God to shed some light on those heartbreaking and unfulfilling situations. Please
hear the Word in this study, and be brave in the Lord to do His will, no matter what
the cost.
Dear reader, I exhort you to test, try, prove, examine, scrutinize and check against
the Word every idea or concept in this document that seems questionable, doubtful
or radical. Stay with what you understand the Word to say. What you will read is
where I have arrived in the quest for His will. It is very controversial and I believe
it is controversial because I came to this quest as a scholar, an anthro-pologist
and a child of God who earnestly wants to know his Father's will. So "Here I stand!"
---- until further enlightenment from the Father.
This study is based on the understanding of the Word of God that a godly marriage
of two godly people is for life, and that they are bound by God to each other maritally
until death dissolves the marriage. It is an attempt to catch the mind of the God
who hates divorce and who hates the breaking of wedding covenants. It is an attempt
to understand the marital will of the God who doesnt want us to be foolish vow breaking
fools in whom he has no pleasure. This document is written from a "Christian", fundamental, evangelical, dispensationalist, etc. point of view for those who understand
that point of view. The followers, or disciples, of Jesus Christ are called "Christians",
and for them loving obedience to their Lord and King is the paramount issue in all matters of human life.
What does "Christian" mean? Who is the God of one who is called a "Christian"? Jesus
is God revealed in the flesh-blood-bone body, God's only incarnate Son, physically
begotten of the virgin Mary, God's Mediator of the New Covenant, Savior and Redeemer of all who obediently believe, King of Kings, Lord of all soon to return visibly,
Creator of all things that have ever existed (including Michael, Lucifer, Satan,
Gabriel), and Judge of all humans soon to return visibly in His resurrected flesh
and bone body. What is a "Christian"? Without controversy the Word is clear that we are saved
and born again Spiritually as a result of the following:
(1) His unearned compassion He had for us even before we know Him, which compassion
moved Him to give His only begotten Son to bear our sins and die in our place.
(2) His enlightening us about who He is, convincing us of our sins and His righteous
judgment of sin, and constraining us to accept Him while we are still spiritually
dead in our sins. [John 1:9,12; 16:7-11]
(3) His giving us the gift of belief/faith in God (revealed as Jesus Christ, His miraculous
birth, His holy life, His undeserved and substitutionary death, and His resurrection
demonstrating His victory over death and sin) in spite of our spiritual blindness and death [James 1:17]
(4) Our willingness >1 to accept and use His gift of belief is met with His enabling
>2 us to have and exercise genuine faith in Him as our King, God and Savior in every
area of our life.
[>1 2 Corinth. 8.; >2 Phil. 2:13; 4:13.]
(5) Since all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags there is no work or deed that
we can do to earn Gods salvation. Our part is to genuinely believe in, accept and
submit to His gracious gift in Jesus Christ.
Okay, so that is what a Christian is . Whats next? I believe that it is obvious that
a Christian should not lean to his own understanding>3 and should not just do
that which seems right to himself>4. I believe that those who are born of God are
led by the Spirit of God Spiritually>5 and by the Word>6 I believe that the believer must
acknowledge Christ's Lordship in every area of his/her life for Christ to be the
real and actual LORD/KING of that believer>7. I agree with the Bible that a Christian's
obedience is his birthmark, the vital and critical proof of having been truly born
again of God>8 . Besides all of that, Jesus said that if I loved Him, I would obey
Him, showing my love by my obedience>9 so of course I want to show my love for Him
and show proof of my rebirth in Him by obeying Him.
[Footnotes:>3 Prov. 3:5,6; >4 Prov. 16:24; >5 Romans 8:13,14.; >6
Psalm 119:9,11,24,32,72,89, 93,101, 104,105 ,166,167; >7 Prov. 3:5,6; Romans
12:1,2; 1 Cor. 6:19, 20 etc; >8 (1John 2:3,4,5; 3:10, 24; 5:2,3; Hebrews 5:8,9);
>9 (John 14:15,21).]
Yes, I realize that obeying Him is not necessarily obeying Christian leaders and teachers
because if they teach the traditions and commandments of men>10 instead of or along
with the commandments and traditions of God, they make the Way of God null, void
and ineffective. Yes, I know that God can use godly men and Christian leaders/teachers
to show us His Way>11 but surely it is our responsibility to be like the Bereans>12,
testing-trying-examining-scrutinizing>13 all of their teachings and leadership to see if it conforms to the Word of God, holding fast to what we find to be true/good.
We need to diligently search the Word to find the will of God, especially in the
matter of controversial and questionable things.
[Footnotes:>10 (Matthew 15:1-9; Mark 7:1-15); >11 (Hebrews 13:7; >12 of
Acts 17:11.31; >13 1 John4:1-4 and 1 Thess. 5:21.]
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES .
St. Augustine (4th Cent AD) had a powerful way of stating the permanent nature of
the marriage of two who married after being born again, lovingly obedient to Jesus
and fruitful in the Spirit---
To such a degree is that marriage compact entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament,
that it is not made void even by separation itself, since, so long as her husband
lives, even by whom she hath been left, she commits adultery, in case she be married
to another: and he who hath left her, is the cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the
compact of marriage is not done away by divorce intervening; so that they continue
wedded persons one to another, even after separation; and commit adultery with those,
with whom they shall be joined, even after their own divorce, either the woman with a
man, or the man with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all entered upon in the
City of our god>14, where, even from the first union of the two, the man and the
woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental character, can no way be dissolved but by the death
of one of them. . . Therefore the good of marriage throughout all nations and all
men stands in the occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so far as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity of the sacrament, by reason of which
it is unlawful for one who leaves her husband, even when she has been put away, to
be married to another, so long as her husband lives, no not even for the sake of
bearing children: . . . not even where that very thing, wherefore it takes place, follows
not, is the marriage bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or wife.>15
[Footnotes:>14 This footnote mark etc. is not St. Augustine's or Arthur Haddan's.
I insert it just in case the reader is not aware of the fact that all marriages
between real saints take place "in the City of our god" not according to St. Augustine,
but according the the Holy Spirit in Hebrews 11:10,13-19, where they are already seated
with Christ in the Heavenlies according to Eph. 1 & 2. >15 St. Augustin:
On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406, 412.]
In Matt. 5 Jesus made it plain divorce was permitted for the hardness of human hearts
and Malachi 2 makes it plain that God hates the treacherous breaking of marital covenants
that results in divorce. In Matt. 5 Jesus permits the husband to divorce his wife is she is guilty of fornication, but does not command it. There is no command
to divorce one's mate for fornication, but after Acts 1 there is the command to separate
(not divorce) yourself from a saved mate who is snared in sexual sin>16. Before
Acts 1 Jesus allowed divorce for the hardness of hearts >17. The compassionate heart
of the Spirit filled Christian would respond to a mate's fornication according to
the Word>18. . The goal of such compassion for one's mate snared in sexual sin would
be the goal of godly sorrow described in the following:2 Cor. 7 and 1 Corinthians
5:5 . . . deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction [ruin , damage] of
the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
[Footnotes:>16. 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 2 Thes. 3:6-14; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; >17.
Mat. 19:6-9; >18. 1 Corinth. 5:5-11; Matthew 18:15-18; Gal. 6:1; John 8: 1-10;
1 Tim. 5:20,21; 2 Th. 3:6-14]
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 5 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such
a one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest
perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech
you to confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote, that I might know
the proof of you, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it]
to him in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for
we are not ignorant of his devices.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret;
if indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now
I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you
were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us. 10 For the grief
according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief
of the world works out death. 11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also] defense; but [also]
indignation; but [also] fear; but [also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance!
In everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the matter. 12 Then, though I wrote to you, [it was] not on account of the one who did wrong, nor on account
of the one who suffered wrong, but for the sake of revealing our earnestness on your
behalf, for you before God.
Even though Jesus apparently allows a genuinely believing husband to divorce his wife
snared in adultery and then go ahead and remarry, I wouldn't want to stand before
the judgment seat of Christ and tell the God of Love I divorced my wife for fornication because of the hardness of my heart. The motivation of a hardened heart doesn't
square with Eph. 4 or I Cor. 13 or Romans 15.
MKJV EPHES. 4: 15 But that you, speaking the truth in love, may in all things grow
up to Him who is the Head, [even] Christ; . . 25 Therefore putting away lying, let
each man speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. 26 Be
angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, 27 neither give place
to the Devil. . . . 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are
sealed until [the] day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger
and tumult and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven
you.
1 CORINTH. 13: 4 Compassionate cherishing has patience, is kind; compassionate
cherishing is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave indecently,
does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil. 6 Charity does not
rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, 7 quietly covers all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Compassionate cherishing never
fails.
MKJV ROMANS 15: 1 Then we who are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak,
and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please [his] neighbor for [his]
good, to building up. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me." 4 For whatever things
were written before were written for our learning, so that we through patience and
comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. 5 And may the God of patience and consolation grant you to be like minded toward one another according to Christ Jesus, 6 so that
with one mind [and] one mouth you may glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ. 7 Therefore receive one another as Christ also received us, to [the] glory
of God.
Being forgiven by God for sins worthy of death (Rom. 1) how can we not forgive our
mate if he/she falls in adultery and then repents? How can we say anything besides
"Go on with your life and sin no more!">19 if the Godly repentance described in the
following is evident? That's the example He left for us (1Pet.2:20,21). There is no
greater Love than to lay down and deny your life/will for another's good.
[>19. John 8:1-10.]
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret;
if indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now
I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you
were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us.10 For the grief
according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief
of the world works out death. 11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also] defense; but [also]
indignation; but [also] fear; but [also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance!
In everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the matter.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a one;
7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps
such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote, that I might know the
proof of you, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it]
to him in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we
are not ignorant of his devices.
When I have approached Christian leaders here in my area, most of them fall back on
a rationalization of scripture to defend or at least conform to the worldly norms
of separation/divorce/ remarriage in contemporary society. So they accept divorces,
where those put together by God are put apart by man, and remarry "believers" who have
been divorced or separated from "believers". They are sincerely and earnestly concerned
about stumbling the weak and are reluctant to ask of the saints what seems to the
world's eyes to be impossible for many saints, to accept the Word that genuine believers
are bound maritally as long as both live.
The particular case in point is the situation caused by the plague of divorce among
Christians. I understand the following scriptures to indicate that genuine believers
in the Lord Jesus Christ who were free to marry each other in the Lord and did marry each other are bound maritally to each other as long as both live ----
1 CORINTH. 7:10* And to the married I command (not I, but the Lord), a woman not
to be separated from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave
[his] wife. 12 But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any brother has a wife who does not
believe, and she is pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her away. 13 And
the woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with
her, do not let her leave him. . . .15 But if the unbelieving one separates, let [them] be
separated. A brother or a sister is not in bondage in such [cases], but God has called
us in peace. 39* The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but
if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she will, only in
the Lord.
MKJV ROMANS 7: 2* For the married woman was bound by law to the living husband. But
if the husband is dead, she is set free from the law of [her] husband. 3* So then
[if], while [her] husband lives, she is married to another man, she shall be called
an adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from the law, [so that] she is no adulteress
by becoming another man's wife.
MKJV MARK 10: 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his
wife. 8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two,
but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart. . . . 11
And He said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another commits
adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband and marries to
another, she commits adultery.
I believe they state that a Spiritually reborn man and a Spiritually reborn woman
who are free to marry each other in the Lord and do marry each other are bound to
each other by the Word of the Lord as long as both their bodies are alive. What
is the case in the Bible?
Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.>20. There are three acts described here:
[Footnote>.(20. The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text]
(1) From the following it is clear that it means leaving the parents' presence, authority
and control;
MKJV PSALM 45:10 Listen, O daughter, and look; and bow down your ear; and forget
your own people and your father's house. 11 And cause the King greatly to desire
your beauty, for He [is] your Lord, and you shall worship Him. . . . 13 The king's
daughter [is] all glorious within; her clothing [is] trimmed with gold. . . . 16 Your sons
shall be in the place of your fathers; you will make them princes in all the land.
17 I will make Your name to be remembered in all generations; therefore the people
shall praise You forever and ever.
(2) Cleaving is the act of the will making marital covenants and vows that bind them
maritally before God>21;
[Footnote:>21 Ezekisl 16:7,8; Malachi 2; Matt. 1:18-25 where Mary and Joseph are
declared to be husband and wife even before the actual wedding and cohabitation.
"Cleave" in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast
together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard,
stick, take." (Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance.) J. Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon
says it means "to glue upon, glue to" ]
(3) Becoming one flesh is the sexual act of coitis or sexual penetratio and one can
become one flesh with one's wife or with an adulteress or with a harlot>22. Becoming
one flesh is not what makes a relationship a marriage. For the permanence of the
relationship of marriage the focus is on the word "cleave" which in the Hebrew means "cling
or adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after),
be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.">23. Thayer
says it means "to glue upon, glue to">24. If God commands the husband to conduct himself
as if he were being joined together with her, clinging, adhering, cleaving and glued
to her in this manner towards his wife, then he had better do it if he wants a good
future with God, because to disobey would be death>25 . Being under this command would
certainly bind a man to his wife as long as both lived.
[Footnotes:>22 1 Cor. 6:13-20; >23. Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance; >24.
Greek English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book
Co., New York, 1889;
>25 Rom. 6:23; 1:31,32; Malachi 2:14-17.]
The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen. 2:24 uses the same word for "cleave"
that Jesus uses in Matt. 19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's Gen. 2:24 and
Jesus' Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1. According to Thayer --- "to join one's
self to closely, cleave to, stick to"; and 2. According to Arndt & Gingrich ---"adhere
closely to, be faithfully devoted to, join tini someone". The Greek tense in both
is future indicative passive which means that this is what they shall have themselves doing in the future on a regular basis. Some say that it is not a command. Jesus
seems to differ with them both in Malachi 2, where He says the husband who breaks
his marital agreement with his wife is under His wrath, and in Matt 19:6 where Jesus
says "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together,
man must not separate." It is the marital commitments and covenants between the husband
and wife that is the glue that binds them, and it is the solemn and disciplined honoring of those commitments that reinforces and maintins that glued bond that
binds them.
Every legal>26 and moral>27 marriage of two who are morally free in Christ to marry
is ordained or allowed by God and takes place under His control>b, so indeed God
has joined them, based on the truth of the following:
[Footnote: >26 Legal= recognized and accepted as legal by one's culture and law enforcers
Rom. 13; 1 Pet. 2:13-17; >27 moral= free from all others maritally and free
in the Lord's kingdom to marry according to His Word. >b Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28]
MKJV Romans 8: 27 And He searching the hearts knows what [is] the mind of the Spirit,
because He makes intercession for the saints according to [the will of] God. 28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those
who are called according to [His] purpose.
MKJV ROMANS 13: 1 Let every soul be subject to the higher authorities. For there
is no authority but of God; the authorities that exist are ordained by God. 2 So
that the one resisting the authority resists the ordinance of God . . .
MKJV Ephes. 1:10. . . to head up all things in Christ, both the things in Heaven,
and the things on earth, [even] in Him, 11 in whom also we have been chosen to an
inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of Him who works all things
according to the counsel of His own will, . . .
That's why we can trust God that we are to remain married to the person we are married
to when we are saved. He gave Adam his Eve, and if you are His child, He worked
in you to want to marry your mate>c, He lead you to marry your mate>d, and He worked
all things so that you did marry you mate>e. So you can understand why 1 Cor. 7 speaks
of the binding nature of marriage.
[>c Phil. 2:12,13; Heb.13:20,21. >d Romans 8:9,14; Acts 16:6,7; Isa. 30:21.
>e Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28; Mt. 10:29; Prov. 16:1,9; Isa. 46:9-13; Neh. 9:6]
MKJV 1 CORINTHIANS 7:17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has
called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all churches. 18 [Was] any called
having been circumcised? Do not be uncircumcised. Was anyone called in uncircumcision?
Do not be circumcised. . . . 20 Let each one remain in the calling in which he was
called. 21 Were you called as a slave? It does not matter to you, but if you are
able to become free, use [it] rather. . . . 24 Each in whatever way he was called,
brothers, in this remain with God.
So Jesus makes binding>28 the cleaving >29 and the one flesh experience that we know
as marriage. Since the only terms of divorce are given in Deut 24:1-4 (which were
superseded by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor. 7:10-15,39), it is clear that marriage is
a life long relationship based on the covenants of the couple and on God's command not to
be put asunder or put asunder the relationship. Rather than abide by this believers-married-for-life
principle, most Christian churches/ pastors today are telling their divorced and divorcing communicants that they should forget the things that have
happened in the past trusting God's forgiveness to cover it all and press on into
the future with their new mates and lives.
[Footnotes:>28 (Mt. 19:6); >29 (Mt. 19:5) ]
They say it would do more harm than good to tell Christian mates that they need to
leave their new mates, married in adultery, and new kids and go back to the Christian
mates they divorced contrary to the Word>f. I believe that we are to live by every
Word of God, and not by unscriptural traditions of men that put asunder what God said
must not be put asunder, that tell couples they are loosed from each other when God
says they are bound for life>30 . How dare we say "You are loosed" when God Himself
says she is "bound as long as her husband lives"?
[Footnotes:>f in 1 Corinth. 7; Romans 7 and Mark 10 >30 (Matt. 19:5; Rom.
7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,39)]
What are the responsibilities of still being bound to someone when you have loosed
yourself according to human law but remain bound according to the Law of Christ?
Wouldn't they be responsible for parenting both their children by the mates to whom
they are bound by the Lord, as well as their children by their adulterous>31 new marriage.
Wouldn't they be responsible for keeping whatever promises they made and can keep
in the Lord--that they made to their mates in the Lord and to their mates in adultery>32 ? They can't keep their adulterous promises of marital intimacy with their adulterous
mates, but they can keep the promise to Agapé Love them, cherish them, honor and
respect them, pray and fast earnestly and fervently for them, and clothe and feed
them if they are destitute and in need. Jesus instructs us to do these things even
to our enemies>g. There is no question that they are responsible for the parenting,
provision and care of any children by their adultery, as God and man's law allow(Eph.
6; 1 Tim. 5:8; Heb. 12; 1Jn.3:16,17).
[Footnotes:>31. Mark 10:11,12; >32 (Psalm 15:4; Ezek. 17:15;Eccles.5:1-7)
>g Luke 6; Mt 5; Isa. 59; 1 tim. 2; James 2; 1 Peter 2,3,4]
I submit that the commandment of God in Romans 7:1-3 and the following passage below
(binding the saved husband to his saved wife until death separates them) is laid
aside to hold mans tradition, making of no effect the Word of God.:
MKJV MARK 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his
wife. 8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but
one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart. . . . 11 And
He said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband and marries to another,
she commits adultery.
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 The wife does not have authority over [her] own body, but the
husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over his] own body, but
the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is] with consent for a time,
so that you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan
does not tempt you for your incontinence. . . . 7 For I would that all men were even
as I myself am. But each has his proper gift from God, one according to this manner
and another according to that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and the widows,
It is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control,
let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn. 10* And to the married
I command (not I, but the Lord), a woman not to be separated from [her] husband. 11*
But if she is indeed separated, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her]
husband. And a husband is not to leave [his] wife. . . . 39* The wife is bound
by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to
be remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord.
I submit that those passages mean exactly what they say, that the obediently believing
wife is bound by law as long as her obediently believing husband lives. No qualifiers!
No exemptions! Instead many Christian leaders tell the saved divorced that if they just confess the sin of the divorce to God, God will forgive them and they are
no longer bound to their departed saved mate so they can go on and remarry someone
new. So they set aside Gods command to keep their own tradition. Can God bless
and anoint with His miraculous power a person, a couple or a church sets aside His will and
Word so they can keep their own tradition? Not the Jesus I know.
Yes Jesus allowed the Jews under Moses to divorce their mates (Mt. 5) but
it was for the hardness of their hearts and you can be sure that a just and holy
God chastened the hard of heart. If I were an insurer, I sure wouldn't want to sell
them any life insurance (1Cor.10). He never commanded a genuine believer to divorce a genuine
believer. It just is not in the Word. He never commands His child to divorce His
other child after He has put them together. But there is a commanded separation
or standing back or break in fellowship that is required by Jesus when one's mate is
snared in the sins described below ----- not a divorce, but some form of separation.
Consider the following about sinners (for those married to the unsaved) and about
"saints" snared in sin:
MATTHEW 5: 32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the
cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her
who is put away commits adultery.
Romans 16: 17. . . mark them who cause divisions and causes of offense contrary to
the doctrine which you have learned, and avoid them.
1 Timothy 6:1-5 If any man. . . . consent not to . . . . the Words of our Lord Jesus
. . . withdraw yourself from such.
2 Timothy 3:1-5: For men shall be lovers of their own selves.........avoid such.
1 CORINTH. 5: 9 I wrote to you in the letter not to associate intimately with fornicators;
10 yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or
extortioners, or with idolaters; for then you must go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother
[and is] either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard,
or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat.
2 THESSALONIANS 3:6 Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ, that you withdraw yourselves from every brother who walks disorderly, and
not after the teaching which he received from us. . . . 14 And if anyone does not
obey our word by this letter, mark that one and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
15 Yet do not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Yes there is an avoiding or withdrawing from such spouses but we will see below how
1 Cor. 7:10-15 and Mark 10 etc. exclude the option of marital separation or divorce
except under very specific conditions. He never said that they were no longer bound
to each other as Christian husband and Christian wife according to the scriptures>33
. You and I know that a married couple can avoid or withdraw from each other in
many ways without getting a divorce. They withdraw emotionally or socially. A
saint can't join the sinning spouse in the sin, so right there is a withdrawal or avoidance.
[Footnote: >33 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15,39)]
According to 1 Cor. 5 it is a whole different ball game if the spouse is often doing,
practicing, regularly or habitually doing any of the following: adultery, fornication,
sexual perversion (sodomy, homosexuality, bestiality, incest), greediness or covetousness, the worship of false gods, reviling (verbal abuse), drunkeness or intoxication,
robbing, swindling, and/or extorting. The saved spouse is under command NOT to associate,
keep company or be intimate with a spouse who does the above and is claiming to be genuinely saved, a genuine believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a born again
child of God. This may take the form of the husband divorcing such a "believing"
wife and remarrying (Matt: 19:9) or it may take the form of the wife chastely and
maritally separating herself from such a "believing" spouse (1 Cor. 7:10,11). The reason for
this difference in options will be discussed in the chapter dealing with adultery
and its definition.
I believe the saved wife of an unsaved husband, who is involved in the sins listed
above in this section, has the same chaste separation option, from the context of
1 Cor. 7:10-15. I understand this kind of separation from such sinning mates involves
the cessation of sexual intimacy, until either the sinning spouse repents as in 2 Cor
2 & 7 or the Lord takes the life of the sinning spouse so as to save his spirit.
Let's take another look at this. What do you do about your spouse who is snared in
adultery, fornication, lesbianism, sodomy, bestiality, incest or etc.? Consider the
following:
MKJV JOHN 8: 4 they said to Him, Teacher, this woman was taken in adultery, in the
very act. 5 Now Moses in the law commanded us that such should be stoned. You, then,
what do you say? . . . 7 But as they continued to ask Him, He lifted Himself up and
said to them, He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her. .
. .
MATT.5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause
of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who
is put away commits adultery.
9 And hearing, and being convicted by conscience, they went out one by one, beginning
at the oldest, until the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in
the midst. 10. . . Did not one give judgment against you? 11 And she said, No one,
Lord. And Jesus said to her, Neither do I give judgment. Go, and sin no more.
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 5: 1 Everywhere [it is] reported [that there is] fornication among
you, and such fornication as is not named among the nations, so as one to have [his]
father's wife. . . . 3 For as being absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed
have 15
already [as though I were] present [concerning] him who worked out this thing; 4
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, with my spirit;
also, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ; 5 to deliver such a one to Satan for
the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
. . .
MATT. 5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except
for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall
marry her who is put away commits adultery.
7 Therefore purge out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, as you are
unleavened. . . . 11 But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if
any man called a brother [and is] either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater,
or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat. 12 . . . Do
you not judge those who are inside? 13 . . . Therefore put out from you the evil
one.
These show that such a separation can be an exercise in Church discipline, delivering
the Christian offender's body for the destruction of the flesh (chastening) to the
end that the erring saint should be effectively chastened and stop sinning and in
godly sorrow repent of the fornication. The sinning saint is chastened>34 into weakness,
sickness or sleep (death) by the Lord. If weakness or sickness results in godly
sorrow and repentance, then the repentant one is restored as in the following:
[Footnote: >34 (1 Cor. 5 &/or 11; Heb.12)
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret;
if indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now
I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you
were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a one;
7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps
such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. . . 10 But to whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive].
For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of
Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant
of his devices.
They would both still be saved and both still be bound to each other maritaly no matter
who else they married or how many kids they might have had in the meantime. There
is nothing in scripture that would indicate the the marital bond between two genuine Christians is broken by sexual immorality. If adultery required a marital-bond breaking
divorce/separation, then Matt 5:32 would read as follows:
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality
causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced for any
other reason than sexual immorality commits adultery. This would imply that it
would NOT be adultery to marry a woman divorced/separated for sexual immorality.
But what did Jesus say to genuine believers? He said "... whoever marries a woman
who is divorced commits adultery.">h He gives no qualifier or exception except
for 1 Cor. 7:12-15 in the case of the believer divorced/ desserted by the unsaved mate. No
matter what the reason for the divorce except 1 Cor. 7:15, including sexual immorality,
"whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." "And if a woman divorces her
husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mk.10:12). It is adultery to marry
a woman divorced from her legitimate husband except in the case of 1 Cor. 7:15, in
which case God has loosed her from her husband. It is adultery to marry a genuinely
believing woman divorced from her genuinely believing man if they were free to marry
in the Lord when they married, because when they married they became maritally bound
to each other until death parts them (1Cor. 7:39)
Later in this study we will deal with the issue of why the Word does not say ".....whoever
divorces her husband, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits
adultery.......".
In the other cases presented in this chapter that require a separation because of
the misconduct of one's mate, I believe the believing mate has to avoid/withdraw
from the erring spouse in such activities and usually can do so without leaving their
house. We'll see below that the avoidance/ withdrawal does not include marital intimacy
and affection (1 Cor. 7:1-15). Dealing with the adulterous mate is discussed below,
so please be patient and read on.
What should be the spouse's attitude be when married to one to whom she/he is commanded
to be manifesting some form of avoidance or withdrawal? The key is in 2 Thess 3:15
above where we enjoined to "not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as a
brother." or in 1 Pet. 3:1 where the wives are instructed to "be submissive to your
own husbands so that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without a word be won
by the behavior of the wives . . . . ". Consider the following:
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother wrongs you, rebuke him; and if
he repent, forgive him.
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual restore
such a one in the Spirit of meekness . . .
John 13:10-15 . . . . you also ought to wash each other's feet, for I have given
you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.
Ephes. 4:15 . . . speaking the Truth in Love . . . .
Ephes 5:6-11 . . . because of these things comes the wrath of God upon the sons of
disobedience. Therefore don't be partakers with them. . . .And have no fellowship
with the unfruitful works of darkness but, rather, reprove [them].
1 Tim. 5:20,21 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others may fear. . 2 Tim. 2:24
And the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all, able to teach,
patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose them . . . . .
1 Pet. 3:1 . . . be submissive to your own husbands so that, if any obey not the
Word, they also may without a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . .
The command is "Man must not put apart what God has put together". Even if they
are divorced/separated, people "must not put apart what God has put together." The
genuine Christian wife is maritally bound to her genuine Christian husband as long
as they both live>i .
[>h Mat.5:32; 19:9. >i (1Cor.7:39;Mark 10).]
There is a parallel in the relationship of the Body of Christ to Christ. When a brother
becomes part of the Bride of Christ Jesus is bound by His own Word in the relationship,
not to put apart what God has put together (John 17:2, 6, 9, 10, 20, 21).So when a brother stumbles into fornication>35, instead of cutting off the relationship
and disowning him, Jesus Loves him and has promised to chasten him in that Love>36.
There is a break in fellowship, a separation, in that Jesus doesn't respond to his
usual prayers>37 and releases his body to Satan for the destruction of his body>38 in
order to save his spirit>39. He still belongs to Jesus because he shows that his
spirit will be saved even if the chastening doesn't result in repentance>40. No
one, neither himself nor Jesus, can take him out of Jesus hand>41. So the brother is chastened>42
and genuinely repents>43, resulting in his restoration to good standing and fellowship
in the Bride of Christ and with Jesus.
[Footnote: >35. 1 Cor. 5; 2 Tim. 2:24,26. >36. 1 Cor.5; Hebrews 12. >37.
Isaiah; Mat. 6:16; 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Jn. 3:22,23. >38. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32;
Heb. 12. >39. 1 Cor. 5:6; 11:27-32 >40. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32. >41.
John 10:28,29. >42. 1 Cor. 5 & 2 Cor. 2. >43. 2 Cor. 2 and 7].
Another parallel is Jesus and the nation Israel. Israel became the bride of Jehovah/Jesus>44.
When Israel misused their bodies/temple, Jehovah/Jesus allowed their bodies to
suffer>45. He didn't end His relationship/promises with the nation Israel, even though He allowed many of them to suffer/die and allowed the temple to be destroyed.
When Israel repented genuinely, He restored His fellowship and blessings to the
genuinely repentant, even allowing them to rebuild the temple for full fellowship>46. Jehovah/Jesus' bond with the nation Israel was not annulled and broken by their
sin nor the chastening He allowed>47.
[Footnote: >44. (Ex. 20; Ezek. 16:7; 23:1-6). >45. 1Cor. 10:9,10 >46.
Ezra, Nehemiah. >47. Ezekiel 16 and 23; Hosea]
In American reality, because of the wretchedly poor Bible teaching today Christians,
divorce and remarry almost as much as J.Q Public. The Christian wife divorces her
Christian husbandand remarries in adultery reaping the chastening of the Lord until
she dies>48 or repents in reconciliation or celibacy if she is genuinely born again.
The Christian man divorces his Christian wife and remarries. If he really repudiates
his Christian wife for another and marries another he commits adultery>49 and reaps
the Lord's chastening. At this point we need to define our terms.
[Footnotes:>48. (1 Cor 5 and 11:29-32); >49 (Mark 10, Luke 16, Matt 5, 1
Cor 7)]
III. DIVORCE DEFINED.
Let me try to clarify the word "divorce" at this point since it has so many definitions
in our current culture. The Greek word apoluo >1 used by Jesus in Mark 10:11 & 12
means TO SEND OR PUT AWAY, DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND REPUDIATE.
It could be done informally or formally and legally as divorce.
[Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.]
The Greek word choridzo >2 , used in Mark 10:9 of the saved couple and in 1 Cor.
7:10 &11 of the saved wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO SEPARATE
ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED; LEAVE, PART OR DEPART FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND DIVIDE.
It could be done informally or formally as a divorce. God allows the Christian wife
to choridzo her husband as second best but still affirms that she is bound maritally
to her husband as in v. 39.
[III. footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive:
1 Cor. 7:10,11,15;Acts 1:4; 18:2]
The Greek word afeeaymee >141, used of the man in l Cor. 7:11 and 12 and of the woman
in v. 13, means TO SEND AWAY, ASK TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE, TO RELEASE, AND TO LEAVE.
This can be done informally or as a formal divorce. So the word divorce can mean
many different things depending on one's culture, society, motivation, intent and purposes.
But the bottom line is that the husband is commanded not to send his wife away,
nor to ask his wife to leave, nor release her nor leave her. Even if she asks or
commands him to leave, He is under the Lord's command not to leave. Even if she gets a
court order, he is under God's order not to leave her voluntarily. If the marshals/officials
remove him and his belongings, then he didn't leave voluntarily. He was removed, but he did not relase or leave her. Separate rooms, sleeping separately or etc.
is not leaving or releasing her as long as he is obeying 1 Cor. 7:1-5 with her.l
[Footnote: .^141 See also Mat. 13:36;; Mark 4:36.]
In summary we see the following:
(1) the Christian husband must not divorce/send away/release [See apoluo or afeeaymee
above] his Christian wife to whom he is bound as long as they both live. 1 Cor.
5:10,11 and 2 Thess. 3:6 & 14 may require a separation that doesn't involve sending
her away, asking her to go away or leave, releasing her from their marriage bond,
or leaving her ---- but they are still bound for life. I experienced such a separation
without leaving with the mother of my children. The last two years we were together we slept inthe same king size bed but she never let me touch her, kiss her, hold
her or make love with her. Now that is separation without leaving. But for the
male under 1 Cor. 5:ll and 2 Thess. 3:6,14 commands to "stand apart" from his sining
wife would still be bound by the commands in 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5 which could require him to
be maritally intimate with her, so the "separation" would have to be in other areas
---- always in the Spirit of 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Galat. 6:1,2,3; and Luke 6 ---- like
not eating together, not hanging out together, not dating, not socializing together , not
spending your leisure time together or etc.
(2) the saved husband must not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee
above] his unsaved wife as long as she agrees or consents or is willing to dwell/live
/house with him.
(3) the Christian wife must not divorce/send away/dismiss/repudiate[See apoluo above]
and should not (but may) divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [See choridzo above]
her Christian husband. The saved wife must not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee above] her unsaved husband as long as he agrees or consents or
is willing to dwell/live/house with her. Because of the definition and 1 Cor. 7:11
some believe that the saved wife also can divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [choridzo]
her unsaved husband in faithful separation, but still not divorce/send away/ask
to leave/leave [afeeaymee] him, in the event of spousal abuse, fornication or
etc. These actions find many different legal and informal forms and expressions
in many different cultures and subcultures. So when you see the word divorce in your Bible, it
at least means send away, release, "leave" or be separated, put asunder, divide informally
or formally.
If Mark 10:8-12; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39 and Romans 7:1-3 are taken quite literally,
a genuinely saved Elias who legally married (with no vow of exclusivity such as forsaking
all others & keeping yourselves only to each other until death do you part) and was legally divorced by several genuinely saved Jane Does who just wanted to live
as singles again>142 would have to deal with the question, "Are they still my wives
in God's eyes?". They all divorced him exercising their scriptural option and whatever
he felt or wanted would be irrelevant in terms of 1 Cor. 7:11,39. What if these genuinely
saved but carnal Jane Does became engaged to others and maritally vowed to forsake
all others including their Elias and to keep themselves only to their new mates until death part them? It would be adultery and their vows would be the sin because
those vows would be invalidated by God's statement in Mark 10:8-12 and 1 Corinth.
7 :11,39 that they are bound to Elias as long as they both live.
[Footnote: >142 (1 Cor. 7:11) ]
IV. THE VARIOUS FORMS OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE --- LET THE WORD SPEAK!
THE FIRST MARRIAGE
Gen.2: 7 And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into
his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man
whom he had formed. 9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree
that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst
of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. . . 15 And the LORD God took the
man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou
mayest freely eat: 17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt
not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will
make him an help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every
beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought [them] unto Adam to see
what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that [was] the
name thereof. 20 And Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the
air, and to every animal of the field. But there was not found a suitable helper
for Adam.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And He
took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh underneath. 22 And the LORD God made
the rib (which He had taken from the man) into a woman. And He brought her to the
man.
>>>>[Is this an ideal setting for the first marriage? Do we have such a face to face
relationship with God? Had man been designated as her head/ruler yet? Had she
been told by God yet that Adam would take the lead in their marriage? Weren't they
still perfectly equal partners still? Is it realistic to take this perfect marriage-in-paradise
and hold it up as the norm and standard for us today? Wasn't it God Himself that
changed the marital relationship when they were expelled from the Garden? Does God anywhere in His Word say that this marriage-made-in-Paradise is to be our model
and standard for Godly marriage? Where? If He didn't make it the norm and the standard,
dare we make it the standard (Mark 7)?
[Is there anything in this first marriage that clearly and specifically allows only
monogyny? Is there anything in this first marriage that clearly and specifically
forbids polygyny? Is there anything in this passage that indicates that God set
monogyny up as the model we must follow? Is there anything in this passage that clearly and
specifically instructs us to follow Adam's example of monogyny?]
[The first mention of marriage in the Bible is where God miraculously provided Eve
to Adam in the Garden of God. Monogamists say that if God approved of polygyny
God would have given Eve, Eyvette, Eva and Evellyn to Adam. On the other hand, just
like with you and I, if we have more than one good option, we dont need to exercise all of
them, just the one that is best at the time. There is no quarrel with the fact that
God has ordained that the male leaders of his Church are to have one wife>33 , and
that even in the Old Testament the leaders were instructed not to multiply wives to themselves.
To be a valid prefigure of Christ (as the first Adam) you would expect Adam to have
one wife, just as Christ, the last Adam, has one wife the Church. [Footnote: >33 1 Tim. 3; Titus 1]
Gen.2: 23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. [She]
shall be called Woman because [she] was taken out of man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his
wife and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife;
and they were not ashamed.
Does Jesus' statement The two shall become
one flesh
mean that only one man and one woman
should become one flesh, as in monogamy>57 , as
most of the "leaders" maintain? Doesn't the Spirit uses The
two shall become one flesh principle in 1 Corinth. 6
to show that he who is joined to a harlot is one body
with her , and then uses the same one flesh
principle in Eph. 5 about a husband and his wife?
Jerome (340-420AD) didn't indicate any problem
understanding the possibility when he wrote,
"Lamech, a man of
blood and a murderer, was the first who divided one
flesh between two wives.">58
[Footnotes:>.57 Please see THE INSTITUTES OF
BIBLICAL LAW, by R. Rushdonney, p. 363. >.58 A
Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers
of The Christian Church, Vol. VIII; p. 358.]
Since the harlot is one flesh with every fornicator she
has sexual union with and the husband is one flesh
with his wife, how can the one flesh principle be unique to
marriage and how can it be an argument for monogamy
or against polygyny ? Doesn't the one flesh principle in
physical reality describe only the result of
sexual union, whether it involve a harlot, a fornicator,
a married couple or a polygamous marriage? Weren't David,
Israel and Abraham one flesh with each of
their wives, just as the adulteress of Prov. 6 & 7 was
one flesh with each of her adulterers? Under the Law
by Moses, being one flesh could have been the basis
for marriage>11 but not so for us after the Sinai Law
of Moses was declared voided in Eph. 2 and Col. 2,
especially in the case of 1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Tm. 5:11-14, right? If
we do not control ourselves today, aren't we commanded
to marry>12 , with who to marry not specified, only
that your mate be saved>13 and godly>14?
[Footnotes: >11 (Deut. 22:22-30; Ex. 22:16,17). >12
1 Cor. 7:9,36; 1 Tim 5:14; Appendix Six of this
document. >13. 2 Corinthians 6. .>14 1 Corinthians
5:9-11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14]
Gen.3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food. and that it was
pleasing to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make wise, she took of its fruit,
and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 And the eyes of both
of them were opened. And they knew that they [were] naked. And they sewed fig leaves together
and made girdles for themselves. 8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking
in the garden in the cool of the day. And Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God in the middle of the trees of the garden.
9 And the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, Where [are] you? 10 And he
said, I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I [am] naked, and
I hid myself.
11 And He said, Who told you that you [were] naked? Have you eaten of the tree
which I commanded you that you should not eat? 12 And the man said, The woman whom
You gave [to be] with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate. 13 And the LORD God
said to the woman, What [is] this you have done? And the woman said, The serpent deceived
me, and I ate.
16 To the woman He said, I will greatly increase your sorrow and your conception.
In pain you shall bear sons, and your desire shall be toward your husband, and he
shall rule over you.
17 And to Adam He said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and
have eaten of the tree, of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat [of]
it! The ground [is] cursed for your sake. In pain shall you eat of it all the days
of your life. 18 It shall also bring forth thorns and thistles to you, and you shall eat the
herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread until you return
to the ground, for out of it you were taken. For dust you [are], and to dust you
shall return.
20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.
21 And for Adam and his wife the LORD God made coats of skins, and clothed them.
22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man has become as one of Us, to know good
and evil. And now, lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life,
and eat, and live forever, 23 therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden
of Eden to till the ground from which he had been taken. 24 And He drove out the man. And He
placed cherubs at the east of the garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned
every way, to guard the way to the tree of life.
4:1 And Adam knew Eve his wife. And she conceived and bore Cain, and said, I have
gotten a man from the LORD. 2 And she bore again, his brother Abel. And Abel was
a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
>>>>>[ Are they now in a whole new "universe", under a curse, mortal, subject to sickness
and weakness and a whole new way of relating to each other as a result of their sin?
Isn't there a significant change in their relationship with each other and with
God? Hadn't the ideal first marriage become a very different thing because of sin?
Didn't their world become like ours is today? Isn't this the beginning of the changes
that would take place in human matrimony? Is there anything in this first marriage
that clearly and specifically allows only monogyny? Is there anything in this first
marriage that clearly and specifically forbids polygyny? Is there anything in this
passage that indicates that God set monogyny up as the model we must follow? Is
there anything in this passage that clearly and specifically instructs us to follow Adam's
example of monogyny?]
[Leaders say that one of God's purposes in creation was that the marital standard for
man be monogamy>32 even though there is not one scripture, quoted or paraphrased,
that says that. Yet I understand a Christian elder and most of the "leaders" to
persist, apparently maintaining that there is no doubt that God's indisputable will, as seen
in the Old Testament, is monogamy.>33.
[Footnotes:>.32 Please see THE INSTITUTES OF BIBLICAL LAW, page 362, by R. Rushdonney.;
>33. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . . P.21]
Whether or not it is the best form of marriage for each individual depends on the
gift and the leading (Rom. 8:1-14) each individual receives from God. St. Augustine
(4th Century AD) had a gentler way of saying it that I feel more reflects the God
of Gen. 1 and 1 Cor. 13. Consider the following:
That the good purpose of marriage, however, is better promoted by one husband with
one wife, than by a husband with several wives, is shown plainly enough by the very
first union of a married pair, which was made by the Divine Being Himself, with the
intention of marriages taking their beginning therefrom, and of its affording to them a
more honorable precedent. In the advance, however, of the human race, it came to
pass that to certain good men were united a plurality of good wives, --- many to
each; and from this it would seem that moderation sought rather unity on one side for dignity,
while nature permitted plurality on the other side for fecundity. For on natural
principles it is more feasible for one to have dominion over many, than for many
to have dominion over one.
[Footnote: >..34 2b A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The
Christian Church; Vol. V; p. 267]
Not one verse, quoted or paraphrased, says that God's purpose was that "monogamy
be the standard for man" but most of our relgious leaders teach this doctrine.
They say that Gen. 2:18-24 shows that "The normative marriage is clearly monogamous.
First that passage says nothing about Gen 2 being normative, and no other passage
in the Bible says that. None of us are commanded by God to emulate or imitate
Adam. Adam had to be unique as the first Adam just as Christ had to be unique to
be the last Adam>35. , and being unique it is no surprise that both Adams have one unique wife
(the first Adam, Eve; the last Adam>36. Jesus, the Church). In the Old Testament
Jesus portrayed Himself as a polygynist>37 in accordance with His own Law governing
polygyny, and as King of Kings He did not multiply wives to Himself. In the New Testament
as the Leader of the Church, He could have only one wife in accordance with His own
Law governing the marital status of Church leaders>4
[Footnotes:>.35. 1 Cor. 15:45-49; Romans 5:12-21. >.36. DITTO 1 Cor. 15:45-49;
Romans 5:12-21. >.37 Ezekiel 23; >.>4 Titus 1; 1 Timothy 3]
"Monogamy is implicit in the story of Adam and Eve, since God created only one wife
for Adam. Yet polygyny is adopted from the time of Lamech (Gn. 4:19), and is not
forbidden inScripture. . . ...Polygamy continues to the present day among Jews in
Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African countries." [Douglas New Bible Dictionary
: MARRIAGE: .....p.787]
. . Elkanah, the husband of Hannah and Peninnah, is an interesting example of a man
of no particular position who nevertheless had more than one wife; this may be an
indication that bigamy, at least, if not polygamy, was not confined to the very wealthy
and exalted. At all events, polygyny was an established and recognized institution
from the earliest of times.>39 [Footnote: >39. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;
p.259.]
Polygamy meets us as a fact: e.g. Abraham, Jacob, the Judges, David, Solomon; 1 Ch
7:4 is evidence of its prevalence in Issachar; Elkanah (1 Sam.1:1ff) is significant
as belonging to the middle class; Jehoida (2 Ch 24:3) as a priest. . .Legislation
. . . safeguarded the rights of various wives, slave or free; and according to the Rabbinical
interpretation of Lv 21:13>40. . . .the high priest was not allowed to be a bigamist.
. . The marriage figure applied to the union of God and Israel . . . implied monogamy as the ideal state. . . Being .. apparently legalized, and having the advantage
of precedent, it was long before polygamy was formally forbidden in Hebrew society,
though practically it fell into disuse; the feeling of the Rabbis was strongly against
it. Herod had nine wives at once. . . Its possibility is implied by the technical
continuance of the Levirate law, [Deut. 25:5-10] and is proved by the early interpretation
of 1 Ti 3, whether correct or not. Justin reproaches the Jews of his day [A.D.]
with having 'four or even five wives,' and marrying 'as they wish, or as many as they
wish.' The evidence of the Talmud shows that in this case at least the reproach
had some foundation. Polygamy was not definitely forbidden among the Jews till the
time of R. Gershom (c. A.D. 1000), and then at first only for France and Germany. In Spain,
Italy, and the East it persisted for some time longer, as it does still among the
Jews in Mohammedan countries>41.
[Footnote: (>.(40. Septuagint Lev. 21:13 "He shall take for a wife a virgin of his
own tribe.". .>41. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.583ff.]
Eugene Nida's (American Bible Society) book Customs and Cultures>42 documents the
practice of polygyny by Christians in non Western countries, and how it is still
practiced in China, SE Asia, India, Africa and parts of South America. Eugene Nida
points out that when polygamists become Christians they are told of their limitations in
church offices and are asked not to take any additional wives because it stumbles
western Christians>5 . They are not usually asked to abandon their other wives to
a premature widowhood because of l Cor. 7:1-15.
[Footnotes:>.42 1954, Harper & Brothers, New York; >5 (Rom 14, l Cor. 8 and 10)]
The unscriptural condemnation of polygyny/concubinage by the Western Christian community
has proven to be one of the main obstacles for people in Eastern and third world
countries to accept the message of Christ, especially if Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Oriental, or African, fulfilling Christ's Word in Mark 7:13 "making the word
of God of no effect through your tradition which you have delivered . . ." The Western
Christian tradition against polygyny hinders the spread of the Gospel of Christ in
Moslem and other polygynous societies.
What about all those third world folks, especially the Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian,
Oriental, and Africans, who are practicing polygyny/ concubinage and are told that
they have to dump or abandon their extra wives in order to become Christians? This
requirement keeps many from Christ and alienates many against Christ, being one of
the biggest obstacles for the Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African
communities. These "Christian" folks who feel their own tradition about monogamy
and polygyny must be kept by Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and Africans and
other third world polygamists for them to become Christians, sound like the folks:
Mat. 23:13 " But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you shut
up the kingdom of the heavens before men; for *you* do not enter, nor do you suffer those
that are entering to go in."
The angels are waiting to rejoice over the conversion of one polygamous Moslem, Hindu,
Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African or third worlder. "Christian legalists and
traditionalists" wont let them into their "Christian" churches unless they sin by
(1) "dealing treacherously">6 with their wives by putting them away in repudiation,
(2) disobeying Christ's command not to leave their wives>7 , and (3) not remaining
in the marital condition in which they were called to Christ, whether it be concubinage,
polygyny or in monogamy. I understand one source to make the point has been made that
it would be brutal for the Christian community to force a polygamist to have to choose
between (1) being saved and then baptized, and (2) having his wives in legally and sociably acceptable polygyny.>43.
[Footnotes:>6 Malachi 2; >7 1 Cor. 7:11,12,13,14; ^>.^43. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE
ME. . . P.33; [Karl Barth, CHURCH DOGMATICS, III/4, p. 203].
So what is the solution? What is God's solution? At the very least the Spirit's
Word in Paul tells us that if you, husband or wife, are saved in polygyny/concubinage,
then remain in polygyny/concubinage and accept it as God's distribution for each
person involved in particular.
1 Cor.7: 17 However, as the Lord has divided to each, as God has called each, so
let him walk; and thus I ordain in all the assemblies. . . . 20 Let each abide
in that calling in which he has been called. . . . 24 Let each, wherein he is called,
brethren, therein abide with God. . . . 26 I think then that this is good, on account
of the present necessity, that [it is] good for a man to remain so as he is. 27
Are you bound to a wife? Seek not to be loosed; are you free from a wife? Do not
seek a wife.
ADAM'S CREATOR, JEHOVAH, LATER PRESENTED HIMSELF AS A POLYGYNIST WITH TWO WIVES.
MKJV EZEKIEL 23: 1 The word of the LORD came again to me, 2 Son of man, there were
two women, the daughters of one mother. 3 And they fornicated in
Egypt; they whored in their youth, their breasts were handled, and there their Oholibah,
her sister. And they were Mine, and they bore sons and daughters
. And their names: Samaria [is] Oholah, and Jerusalem [is] Oholibah. 5 And Oholah
whored under Me. And she lusted after her lovers, to [her] Assyrian neighbors, .
. . 18 So she uncovered her fornications and uncovered her nakedness. And My soul
was alienated from her just as My soul was alienated from her sister. 36 And the LORD said
to me: Son of man, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah, and declare to them their
abominations, 37 that they have committed adultery
, and blood [is] on their hands? And they have committed adultery
with their idols and have also caused their sons whom they bore to Me to pass through
the fire to them, to devour them. . . . . 45 And [as] righteous men, they shall judge them [with] the judgment of adulteresses, and the judgment of women
who shed blood; because they [are] adulteresses, and blood [is] in their hands.
EZ 16:8 And I swore to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord Jehovah. And
you became Mine, and they bore sons and daughters
. And
their names: Samaria [is] Oholah, and Jerusalem [is] Oholibah. . . . . . . 20 And
you have taken your sons and your daughters, whom you have borne to Me, and you gave
these to them for food. [Are] your fornications small? . . . . . . . . . 30 How
weak is your heart, says the Lord Jehovah, since you do all these, the work of a woman,
an overbearing harlot; 31 in that you build your mound at the head of every way,
and make your high place in every street. Yet you have not been as a harlot, scorning
wages. 32 [Like] the adulterous wife,
instead of her husband, she takes strangers. 33 They give a gift to all harlots, but
you give your gifts to all your lovers, and bribe them to come to you from all around,
for your fornication. 34 And in you was the opposite from [those] women in your fornications, since no one whores after you, and in your giving wages, and hire is not
given to you. [In] this you are opposite. . . . . . . 59 For so says the Lord Jehovah:
I will even deal with you as you have done, who have despised the oath in breaking
the covenant.
60 But I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will
establish to you an everlasting covenant. 61 And you shall remember your ways and
be ashamed, when you shall receive your sisters, your older and your younger. And
I will give them to you for daughters, but not by [your] covenant. 62 And I will establish
My covenant with you; and you shall know that I [am] the LORD; 63 so that you may
remember and be ashamed; and it will not be [possible] to open [your] mouth any more
because of your shame; in that I am propitiated for all that you have done, says the Lord
Jehovah.
[Does God ever portray Himself as a sinner commiting sin? Can polygyny be a sin if
God portrays Himself as a polygynist? Is there anything in this passage that condemns
or forbids polygyny?]
[In the Old Testament Jesus, as Jehovah>34 , presents Himself as the husband of one
wife remembering their wedding day and the exchange of the vows at Mt. Sinai in the
desert>35 . Reflecting the reality of how Israel and Judah divided after Solomon
died, Jesus (as Jehovah) presents Himself as the husband of two wives
God never presents Himself as sin or sinner to us except for when holy Christ became
sin for us on the cross. In Ezek. 23, the sinners were His wives and He was righteous
as the husband of two wives. It was only two wives in accordance with His own Law
that decreed that the ruler must not multiply wives to himself. Polygyny , even Gods
polygyny , is NEVER labeled or declared to be sin or sinful in the Bible.
God portrays Himself, in the fullness of His holiness, as the polygamous husband of
two wives in Ezekiel 23. I believe God was not a victim of the fall, and remains
holy in a world of sin. If polygamy clearly appears as a product of the fall then
why isnt there one scripture or even one verse that says that? Since there isnt, it seems
to be more mens teaching. No where does polygyny appear, in the Old or the New
Testaments, in any list of sins, list of fleshly works or list of abominations to
God. I understand Rev. Gerhard Jasper to make the following points: (1) In Old Testament
times a Jewish polygynist's marriage was fully recognized as marriage, protected
by the Law and the elders; (2) the Jewish polygynist's faith in or faithfulness
to God was not questioned because of his polygyny; (3) the polygyny of the Jewish polygynist
did not keep him from being admitted to the congregation with full membership.>44.
Moses did not forbid polygamy>8 (Dt. 21:15,16) >8 but apparently it was unusual
among average people .>45.
[Footnotes:>.f89 Please see p. 362, THE INTSTITUTES OF BIBLICAL LAW, by R. Rushdonney.
>44. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . . P.18; (AFRICAN THEOLOGICAL JOURNAL, Rev.
Gerhard Jasper of Lutheran Theological College in Makumira, Tanzania; Februrary 1969,
p. 41). >45. Please see THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; p. 407.]
St. Augustine (4th Century AD) had a good word on this subject. Consider the following:That
the holy fathers of olden times after Abraham, and before him, to whom God gave His
testimony that "they pleased Him," [Heb. 11:4-6] thus used their wives, no one who is a Christian ought to doubt, since it was permitted to certain individuals
amongst them to have a plurality of wives, where the reason was for the multiplication
of their offspring, not the desire of varying gratification. . .In the advance .
. . of the human race, it came to pass that to certain good men were united a plurality
of good wives, --- many to each; and from this it would seem that moderation sought
rather unity on one side for dignity, while nature permitted plurality on the other
side for fecundity. For on natural principles it is more feasible for one to have dominion
over many, than for many to have dominion over one.>46
[Footnote: >46 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church Vol. V; p. 267.]
LAMECH, THE FIRST POLYGYNIST.
Gen.4:17 And Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch. And he built a
city, and called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch. 18 And Irad
was born to Enoch. And Irad fathered Mehujael. And Mehujael fathered Methusael. And
Methusael fathered Lamech.
19 And Lamech took two wives to himself.
The name of the first one [was] Adah, and the name of the other [was] Zillah.
As Jerome (340-420AD) put it, "Lamech, a man of blood and a murderer, was the first who divided one flesh between two wives."
>3 Some maintain that polygamy was much less common in the Old Testament than is
frequently thought to be the case, though its practice usually seemed to have a valid
reason >4.
[Footnotes:>39. MKJV GEN. 4: 19 ; A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church,Vol. VIII; p. 358. >4. Please see THE INTERNATIONAL
BIBLE COMMENTARY; p.119.]
Have you considered what Saint Augustine said in the fourth century AD?
"But here there is no ground for a criminal
accusation: for a plurality of wives was no crime when
it was the custom; and it is a crime now, because it is
no longer the custom. There are sins against nature,
and sins against custom, and sins against the laws. In
which, then, of these senses did Jacob sin in having a
plurality of wives? As regards nature, he used the
women not for sensual gratification, but for the
procreation of children. For custom, this was the
common practice at that time in those countries. And
for the laws, no prohibition existed. The only reason
of its being a crime now to do this, is because custom
and the laws forbid it."
[Footnote: >.14 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. iv; p. 289]
THE POLYGYNOUS PATRIARCH, ABRAHAM , SARAH AND HAGAR
GEN. 16: 2 And Sarai said to Abram,
Behold now, the LORD has kept me from
bearing. I pray you, go in to my slave woman. It may be that I may be built by her.
And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 And Sarai, Abram's wife, took
Hagar her slave woman, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife
(after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan); . . . . 9 And the Angel of the LORD said to her [Hagar], Return to your mistress and submit yourself
under her hands.
10 And the Angel of the LORD said to her, I will multiply your seed exceedingly,
so that it shall not be numbered for multitude. 11 And the Angel of the LORD said
to her, Behold, you are with child, and shall bear a son. And you shall call his
name Ishmael, because the LORD has heard your affliction 12 And he will be a wild man. His
hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him. And he shall live
in the presence of all his brothers. 13 And she called the name of the LORD who had
spoken to her, You [are] a God of vision! For she said, Even here have I looked after Him
that sees me? 14 Therefore the well was called The Well of the Living One Seeing
Me. Behold, [it is] between Kadesh and Bered.
15 And Hagar bore Abram a son
. And Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 And Abram [was] eighty-six
years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.
17: 1 And when Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram and said to him, I [am] the Almighty God! Walk before Me
and be perfect. 2 And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and will multiply
you exceedingly. 3
And Abram fell on his face. And God talked with him, saying,
4 As for Me, behold! My covenant is with you, and you shall be a father of many
nations. 5 Neither shall your name any more be called Abram, but your name shall
be Abraham. For I have made you a father of many nations. 6 And I will make you exceedingly
fruitful, greatly so, and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come out of
you.
7 And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your seed after you in
their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God to you and to your seed
after you. 8 And I will give the land to you in which you are a stranger, and to
your seed after you, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession. And I will be
their God. 9 And God said to Abraham, And you shall keep My covenant, you and your
seed after you in their generations. 10 This is My covenant, which you shall keep,
between Me and you and your seed after you. Every male child among you shall be circumcised.
[If polygyny is a sin, why does God bless both Abraham and his two wives in their
polygny? Is there anything in this passage that specifically and clearly shows God's
disapproval of and displeasure in Abraham's polygyny?]
15 And God said to Abraham, As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but
her name [shall be] Sarah. 16 And I will bless her, and give you a son also of her.
Yes, I will bless her, and she shall be [a mother] of nations, kings of people shall
be from her.
17 And Abraham fell upon his face and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall [a child]
be born to him that is a hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years
old, bear? 18 And Abraham said to God, Oh that Ishmael might live before You! 19
And God said, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son indeed. And you shall call his name
Isaac. And I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and
with his seed after him.
20 And as for Ishmael, I have heard you. Behold, I have blessed him, and will make
him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly. He shall father twelve princes,
and I will make him a great nation. 21 But I will establish My covenant with Isaac,
whom Sarah shall bear to you at this set time in the next year.
22 And He left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.
[If polygyny is condemned by God and forbidden to man, then why does God bless Sarah
who influenced Abraham to become a polygynist? If Abraham's polygyny was a sin,
why did God bless the offspring of his polygyny? If Abraham's polygyny was a sin,
why did God personally talk with him and bless him so richly? Where is the condemnation
of Abraham's polygyny?]
23 And Abraham took his son Ishmael, and all that were born in his house, and all
that were bought with his silver; every male among the men of Abraham's house; and
circumcised the flesh of their foreskins in the same day, even as God said to him.
24 And Abraham [was] ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his
foreskin. 25 And his son Ishmael [was] thirteen years old [when] he was circumcised
in the flesh of his foreskin. 26 In the same day Abraham and his son Ishmael were
circumcised.
GEN. 21:1 And the LORD visited Sarah as He had said. And the LORD did to Sarah as
He had spoken. 2 For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the
set time of which God had spoken to him. 3 And Abraham called the name of his son
that was born to him (whom Sarah bore to him) Isaac. 4 And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac
when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him.
[WHERE IS THE CONDEMNATION OF ABRAHAM'S POLYGYNY? WHERE IS THE DENUNCIATION OF THE
CHILDREN OF HIS POLYGYNY?]
Gen. 21: 9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian (whom she had borne to Abraham)
mocking. 10 And she said to Abraham, Cast out this slave woman and her son.
For the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son, with Isaac. 11 And
the thing was very evil in Abraham's sight, because of his son. 12 And God said to Abraham, Let it not be grievous in your sight because of the boy and because
of your slave woman. In all that Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice. For
in Isaac your Seed shall be called. 13 And also, I will make a nation of the son
of the slave woman, because he [is] your seed.
[WAS SHE KICKED OUT BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THEIR POLYGYNY DISPLEASED GOD? WHAT IS
THE REASON SARAH GAVE FOR THE EXPULSION OF HAGAR AND ISHMAEL? DID HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO WITH THEIR POLYGYNY?]
GEN. 21: 14 And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle
of water, and gave [it] to Hagar, putting [it] on her shoulder. And he gave her the
boy, and sent her away. And she departed and wandered in the wilderness of Beer-sheba.
15 And the water was gone in the bottle, and she cast the boy under one of the shrubs.
16 And she went and sat down across from him, a good way off, about a bowshot. For
she said, Let me not see the death of the boy. And she sat across from him, and lifted up her voice, and cried. 17 And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar out of the heavens,
and said to her, What ails you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of
the boy where he is. 18 Rise up, lift up the boy and hold him up with your hand,
for I will make him a great nation. 19 And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of
water; and she went and filled the bottle with water, and gave drink to the boy.
20 And God was with the boy, and he grew, and lived in the wilderness, and became
an archer.
21 And he lived in the wilderness of Paran, and his mother took a wife for him out
of the land of Egypt.
[WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT GOD CONDEMNED OR PUNISHED HAGAR AND ISHMAEL FOR THEIR POLYGYNY?
If their polygyny were a sin, why did God take such good care of them and promise
them such great blessings?]
Gen.22: 20 And it happened after these things that it was told Abraham, saying,
Behold Milcah! She also has borne children to your brother Nahor: 21 Huz his first-born,
and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram, 22 and Chesed, and Hazo, and
Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel. 23 And Bethuel fathered Rebekah. These eight Milcah bore to Nahor, Abraham's brother. 24 And his concubine, named Reumah,
she also bore Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.
Gen. 23: 19 And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave at the field
of Machpelah before Mamre, which [is] Hebron, in the land of Canaan.
Gen. 25: 1 Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah.
2 And she bore him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah.
3 And Jokshan fathered Sheba and Dedan. And the sons of Dedan were Asshurim and Letushim
and Leummim. 4 And the sons of Midian: Ephah and Epher and Hanoch and Abida and Eldaah. All these [were] the sons of Keturah. 5 And Abraham gave all that he had to
Isaac. 6 But to the sons of the concubines
which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts. And he sent them away from Isaac his son while
he still lived, eastward to the east country.
1 Chronicles 1: 32 And the sons of Keturah, Abraham's concubine
: She bore Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. And
the sons of Jokshan: Sheba and Dedan. 33 And the sons of Midian: Ephah, and Epher,
and Henoch, and Abida, and Eldaah. All these [are] the sons of Keturah.
[Where is God's denunciation of Abraham for having concubines? Where is God's denunciation
of the concubines for marrying Abraham? Where is Abraham's confession of his sin,
if polygyny is sinful as some say?]
Have you considered the following?
". . . a man's 'house' might consist of his mother; his
wives and the wives' children; his concbines and their
children . . . and slaves of both sexes. Polygamy was
in part the cause of the large size of the Hebrew
household; in part thecause of it may be found in the
insecurity of early times, when safety lay in numbers
. . . Polygyny and bigamy were recognized features of
the family life. From the Oriental point of view there
was nothing immoral in the practice of polygamy.
The female slaves were in every respect the property
of their master and became his concubines; except in
certain cases, when they seem to have belonged
exclusively to their mistress . . . At all events,
polygyny was an established and recognized
institution form the earliest times">8 HASTINGS
DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.259.
Eerdmans' Douglas' New Bible Dictionary: Concubine.
A secondary wife acquired by purchase or as a war
captive, and allowed in polygamous society such as
existed in the Middle east in biblical times....Where
marriages produced no heir, wives presented a slave
concubine too their husbands in order to raise an heir
(Gen. 16). Handmaidens, given as a marriage gift,
were often concubines (Gen. 29:24,29). Concubines
were protected under Mosaic law (Exod. 21:7-11; Dt.
21:10-14), though they were distinguished from
wives (Jdg. 8:31) and were more easily divorced
(Gen.21:10-14)."
[Footnote: >10. 1962, IVCF, Editor J.D.Douglas; W. B.
Eerdmans Publishing]
FUNK & WAGNALLS NEW ENCYCLOPEDIA:
CONCUBINAGE, refers to the cohabitation of a man
and a woman without sanction of legal marriage.
Specifically, concubinage is a form of polygyny in
which the primary matrimonial relationship is
supplemented by one or more secondary sexual
relationships. Concubinage was a legally sanctioned
and socially acceptable practice in ancient cultures,
including that of the Hebrews; concubines, however,
were denied the protection to which a legal wife was
entitled. . .. In Roman law, marriage was precisely
defined as monogamous; concubinage was tolerated,
but the concubine's status was inferior to that of a
legal wife. Her children had certain rights, including
support by the father and legitimacy in the event of
the marriage of the parents [>11 1986, Funk &
Wagnalls]
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE: The relative
positions of wives and concubines were determined
mainly by the husband's favour. The children of the
wife claimed the greater part, or the whole, of the
inheritance; otherwise there does not seem to have
been any inferiority in the position of the concubine
as compared with that of the wife, nor was any idea
of illegitimacy, in our sense of the word, connected
with her children. . . . The female slaves were in every
respect the property of their master, and became his
concubines; except in certain cases, when they seem
to have belonged exclusively to their mistress, and
could not be appropriated by the man except by her
suggestion or consent (Gn 16:2,3). The slave-
concubines were obtained as booty in time of war (Jg
5:30), or bought from poverty-stricken parents (Ex
21:7); or, possibly, in the ordinary slave traffic with
foreign nations. >12
[Footnote: >12. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;
p.259.]
The difference between a wife and a concubine
depended on the wife's higher position and birth,
usually backed by relatives ready to defend her. >13
[Footnote: >13. 1989, HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE
BIBLE; p.585.]
For this paper a distinction is made between a mistress and a concubine. I understand
a mistress to mean a human female who has sexual (breast &/or vagina) intimacy with
another human with whom she has no marital covenants/vows/ commitment. So a mistress
is in the same category as a whore, harlot, prostitue etc. except that she might be
having sexual intimacy with only one person during a specific period. I attempt
to show at length, later in the paper, that in the Bible a concubine has the status
of a wife, even though it may be by informal marital covenants/vows/ commitments. And so,
continuing the discussion . . . . Having one wife/concubine is said to significantly
complicate ones life and distract one who is waiting on God>37 , so of course we
understand that any godly man with more than one wife/concubine would be significantly
more distracted from waiting on God and would have a significantly greater struggle
in his spiritual life with God. In the New Testament in accordance with His law for
church leaders, Jesus presents Himself to His people as having only one wife, the Church>38
because believing Jews and believing Gentiles were reconciled into one Body, the
Church, to be one unified and united Bride to Christ.
[Footnotes:>37 1 Cor. 7; >38 (1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1) ]
In the Bible's reality is a concubine the same as a mistress? In the following paragraphs
I believe you will see that a concubine has marital status in God's eyes even though
socially and culturally she doen't have as high a status as a wife who was married publicly and according to the laws of the culture. The difference between a wife
and a concubine is discussed in the next paragraph. On the other hand a mistress
is a female who lets "her man" relate to her sexually by means of her breasts>50
and/or genitals>51 without them making or agreeing to any marital "for life" commitments
or covenants>52. So a mistress provides sex and affection to her partner without
marital commitments or covenants.
[Footnotes:>50 Prov. 5:19,20,21; Ezek.23:3,8,21; >51 1 Cor. 6:15,16, 17,18;
>52 Prov. 2:16,17,18,19; 5:3,4,5,6; 6:24,25,26; 7; Ezek. 16; 23]
The only differences I can detect between a concubine and a wife are: (1) that the
concubine's marriage is confirmed by a solemn covenant between the husband and concubine>53
without a public wedding, (2) the concubines rights were protected by God (see below), and (3) their status as concubines spared them certain penalties>54 . The
Holy Spirit by the writer of Judges 19 declared the Levite to be the concubine's
"husband", declared the father of the concubine to be the Levite's "father-in-law",
and declared the Levite to be the "son-in-law" of the concubine's father. This is a very strong
legitimization of the husband-concubine marital status. It is the same legitimization
of the relationship that the Holy Spirit used in Matthew 1, calling the espoused
Mary "wife" and the espoused Joseph "husband". If God so recognizes them and describes
them, then who are we to do any less. By the Holy Spirit here in Judges 19 we see
that a concubine had a "husband" who was the "son-in-law" of her father, his "father-in-law". A wife has a "husband" who is the "son-in-law" of her father, her husband's
"father-in-law".
[Footnotes:>53 (Ezek. 16 and Malachi 2); >54 (Lev. 19:20 vs. Deut. 22)]
Sarai gave her slave/maid "to her husband Abram to be his wife", not concubine, but
wife. Consider the following points that appear to be made in one commentary: (1)
It was Sarai's idea>* ; (2) it was a common at the time for a wife to obligate herself
to get an heir by providing a slave girl to her husband so he could have his heir by
the slave girl; (3) this was legal but left a tangle of emotions due to the heartlessness
of conventional law; (4) polygamous marriages cause damage of
a psychological nature; (5) there is no reproof of Abram for fathering Ishmael who,
in his turn, was blessed of God and became the father of an important nation.>5.
By the way there is no proof or documentation given that proves that polygamous
marriages cause psychological damage.
[Footnotes:>* MKJV GEN. 16: 2 And Sarai said to Abram, Behold now, the LORD has kept
me from bearing. I pray you, go in to my slave woman. It may be that I may be built
by her. And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 And Sarai, Abram's wife, took
Hagar her slave woman, the Egyptian, and gave her to her
husband Abram to be his wife (after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan);
>5. THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; Editor, F.F.Bruce; pp. 126ff]
I understand the same commentary to make these points: (1) Abraham was reluctant because
of the customs and the laws of his society, valid concerns about his reputation;
(2) very old documentation reveals that normally it was not correct or legal to get
rid of one's concubine and children in this way; (3)
God intervened and instructed him so that he was assured that Ishmael's rights and
his mother's prospects were ensured.>6.
[Footnote: >6. THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; Editor, F.F.Bruce; p. 129]
Yes it is obvious that Sarai apparently acted on her own and there was no divine guidance
in this move, but there was also no divine condemnation. God intervened and sent
Hagar back into the marital situation with Abram and Sarai>41 When God next spoke
to Abraham>42 there was no condemnation of his polygyny , but instead God blessed
him with an even greater blessing than before. In response to the blessing he takes
his son by Hagar and circumcised him>43 . But I understand a Christian elder
to maintain that there was no blessing from God on Abraham's polygamy, that the Biblical record
of it is a criticism of Abraham's conduct. >7. He gives no references so look at
the Word for yourselves -- "in all things the Lord had blessed Abraham" (Gen. 24:1).
[Footnotes:>41 (Gen 16:9-16.); >42 (Gen. 17:1--); >43 (Gen. 17:23-25);
>7. MY WIFE MADE ME. . . .p.20.]
Consider the following:
". . . a man's 'house' might consist of his mother; his wives and the wives' children;
his concbines and their children . . . and slaves of both sexes. Polygamy was in
part the cause of the large size of the Hebrew household; in part thecause of it
may be found in the insecurity of early times, when safety lay in numbers . . . Polygyny
and bigamy were recognized features of the family life. From the Oriental point
of view there was nothing immoral in the practice of polygamy. The female slaves
were in every respect the property of their master and became his concubines; except in certain
cases, when they seem to have belonged exclusively to their mistress . . . At all
events, polygyny was an established and recognized institution form the earliest
times">8 HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.259.
God blessed Sarah with fertility in polygyny>44 and God blessed Hagar and Ishmael
even though she was cast out of Sarah's house at Sarah's confirmed request because
of the question of an heir, not polygyny>45 . Abraham had another concubine after
Hagar, named Keturah>46 by whom Abraham had six children without any condemnation or
denunciation by God. What about a Christian elder's apparent assertion that polygamy
is a breeding ground for contemptuous, jealous, quarrelsome conduct in a marriage
resulting in alienation between wife and husband<9 Forgive me if I sound a little naive
(I'm only in my 50's and have experienced marriage for only 24 years) but divorce
court records and sociological studies of divorce indicate that those vices are quite
common in monogamy in America today. Does that make monogamy evil? I think not. Contempt,
jealousy, quarreling and estrangement are sinful works of the flesh and need to be
dealt with Spiritually, just like any other sins involving more than one person.
Sin and the flesh are the evils, not polygamy or monogamy.
[Footnotes:>44 (Gen 21:1-7); >45 (Gen. 21); >46 (1 Chron.1:32) ; >9. See
Gen. 16 and 21 as well as HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;p.259]
ESAU'S POLYGYNY
Genesis 26: 34 And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith
the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon
the Hittite; 35 who were a grief of spirit to Isaac and to Rebekah.
Gen. 28: 8 and when Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan did not please Isaac his
father; 9 then Esau went to Ishmael, and took Mahalath
the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to the wives [which] he [had] for his wife
.
Gen.36: 12 And Timna was concubine to Eliphaz, Esau's son. And she bore to Eliphaz
Amalek.
THE POLYGYNOUS PATRIARCH JACOB, HIS WIVES & CONCUBINES.
Were these Old Testament saints less Godly than we?
I think not. But what of those who say that having
more than one wife in those days was a falling short
of the will of God and reflected a weakness in the
character of those who participated in polygyny? St.
Augustine has a good word on that, as follows:
"But those who have not the virtues of temperance
must not be allowed to judge of the conduct of holy
men, any more than those in fever of the sweetness
and wholesomeness of food. . . If our critics, then,
wish to attain not a spurious and affected, but a
genuine and sound moral health, let them find a cure
in believing the Scripture record, that the honorable
name of saint is given not without reason to men who
had several wives; and that the reason is this, that the
mind can exercise such control over the flesh as not to \par allow the appetite implanted
in our nature by
Providence to go beyond the limits of deliberate
intention. . . . the holy patriarchs in their conjugal
intercourse were actuated not by the love of pleasure,
but by the intelligent desire for the continuance of
their family. . . .nor did the number of their wives
make the patriarchs licentious. But why defend the
husbands, to whose character the divine word bears
the highest testimony. . . ."
[Footnote: >.23 A Select Library of the Nicene and
Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. iv;
p.290]
Gen. 29: 21 And Jacob said to Laban, Give [me] my wife, for my days are fulfilled, so that I may
go in to her.
22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. 23 And
it happened in the evening, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to him. And he went in to her.
24 And Laban gave Zilpah his slave woman to his daughter Leah for a handmaid. 25 And
it happened in the morning, behold, it [was] Leah! And he said to Laban, What [is]
this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you
tricked me? 26 And Laban said, It must not be done so in our country, to give the younger
before the first-born. 27 Fulfill her week, and we will give you this one also
for the service which you shall serve with me still another seven years. 28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week
. And he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
29 And Laban gave Bilhah his slave woman to his daughter Rachel, to be her handmaid.
30 And he also went in to Rachel. He also loved Rachel more than Leah, and served
with him still seven more years.
31 And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, even He opened her womb.
But Rachel [was] barren. 32 And Leah conceived and bore a son.
Gen. 30:1 And when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her
sister. And she said to Jacob, Give me sons, or else I will die. 2 And Jacob's anger
was kindled against Rachel. And he said, Am I in God's stead, who has withheld from
you the fruit of the womb? 3 And she said, Behold my slave woman Bilhah; go in to her, and she shall bear upon my knees,
and yea, let me be built up from her,
me also. 4 And she gave him her slave woman Bilhah to wife.
And Jacob went in to her. 5 And Bilhah conceived, and bore Jacob a son.
. . . 9 When Leah saw that she had quit bearing, she took her slave woman Zilpah and gave
her to Jacob to wife. 10 And Leah's slave woman Zilpah bore Jacob a son. . . .
. 16 And Jacob came out of the field in the evening. And Leah went out to meet him,
and said, You must come in to me, for I have surely hired you with my son's love-apples.
And he lay with her that night. 17 And God listened to Leah, and she conceived, and bore Jacob the fifth
son. . . . . 22 And God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb.
. . . . . 26[And Jacob said to Laban] Give me my wives and my children, [for] whom
I have served you, and let me go. For you know my service which I have done you.
Gen.31: 3 And the LORD said to Jacob, Return to the land of your fathers, and to your
kindred, and I will be with you.
[If polygyny is the sin that some say it is, why did God intervene to help Leah conceive?
Why did God remember and bless Rachel when she influenced Jacob to have a third
wife? Why did God listen to Leah's prayer after she influenced Jacob to have a fourth wife? If polygyny is unacceptable to God, then why did the Lord speak to Jacob
and promise to bless him with His abiding presence?]
Gen 32: 1 And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him
. 2 And when Jacob saw them he said, This [is] God's camp. And he called the name
of that place Refuge. . . . . . .24 And Jacob was left alone. And a Man wrestled
there with him until the breaking of the day. 25 And when He saw that He did not
prevail against him, He touched the hollow of his thigh. And the hollow of Jacob's thigh was
out of joint as he wrestled with Him. 26 And He said, Let Me go, for the day breaks.
And he said, I will not let You go except You bless me. 27 And He said to him, What [is] your name? And he said, Jacob. 28 And He said, Your name
shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for like a prince you have power with
God and with men, and have prevailed. 29 And Jacob asked and said, I pray You, reveal
Your name. And He said, Why do you ask after My name? And He blessed him there.
30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel; for I have seen God face to face,
and my life is preserved. 31 And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him,
and he limped upon his thigh.
>>>>>[Why would God allow his angels to meet Jacob, since he was practicing polygyny
with four wives? Why did Jesus wrestle with Jacob, and bless Him with a new and
significant name, if Jacob was under God's judgment for practicing polygyny? Exactly
where is God's denunciation and disapproval Jacob's polygyny expressed?
Jacob marries Rachel and Leah>58 , and goes on to have children by his concubines
as well>59. Sure, treachery was involved in the Rachel and Leah marriage, but
it appears that the treachery stands alone as the evil since at the first mention
of the polygyny option,>60 Jacob has no moral objection and nowhere does God denounce the development.
Yes Lev. 18:18 shows that much later in the time of Moses, God forbade two sisters
being wives to one husband at one time and makes rivalry the issue. God deliberately involved Himself in the polygyny of Jacob by blessing Leah with fertility>61.
God repeated himself in this way with the mother of Samuel without denouncing her
polygyny>62 . God intervened and granted fertility to Rachel in her polygyny>63
. God not only blesses Jacob with fertility but also with miraculous prosperity in his
polygyny> 64 . God not only blessed Jacob in his polygyny but also delivered him
from evil and harm as a polygynist>65
[Footnotes:>58 in Gen 29 & 30; >59 (Gen. 35:22; 37:2);. >60 (Gn. 29:27,29).
>61 (Gn. 29:31,32; 30:17); >62 (l Sam 1:1-6); >63 (Gn. 30:22); >64 (Gn.
30:41-31:10); >65 (Gn. 31:24, 29,42)
In spite of this Biblical record of God's blessings on Jacob, I understand a brother
to write that Jacob experienced only troublesome times with Rachel and Leah, and
that they were angry, envious, and hateful rivals.>15. Only troublesome times?
What about all of God's miraculous provision and prospering their family experienced directly
from God's intervention? What about their cooperation, their love, trust and loyalty
for Jacob when he was in conflict with their father and then with Esau? Maybe their polygyny lacked the sweet bliss and loving harmony of Solomon's early polygyny >66
, but there is no passage that Rachel and Leah only had troublesome times.
[Footnotes:>15. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . ; p. 20; >66 (Song of Songs 6:4-9)]
I wish I had some of that trouble in my life! What about the rivalry? God saw the
destructive potential of such sibling rigalry and made the law that a polygynist
should not marry the sister of his wife >67 . He did not condemn the man for being
a polygynist, He just indicated that the man as polygynist should not marry his wife's sister
while she lived. What about the hatred, envy and anger? Well folks, I don't mean
to be redundant, but we see those sins in monogamy, between sisters, between brothers
(Cain & Abel) and between children and parents (Absalom and David) then and today.
If you aren't aware of that, then I have to ask you if you were raised by Robinson
Crusoe on some island.
[Footnote: >67 (Lev. 18:18)]
PATRIARCHAL POLYGYNY
1 Chronicles 2: 4 And Tamar his daughter-in-law bore him Pharez and Zerah. All the
sons of Judah [were] five. 5 The sons of Pharez: Hezron and Hamul.
9 And the sons also of Hezron, who were born to him: Jerahmeel, and Ram, and Chelubai.
18 And Caleb the son of Hezron fathered [sons] of Azubah [his] wife, and of Jerioth.
Her sons [are] these: Jesher, and Shobab, and Ardon. 19 And when Azubah died, Caleb took Ephrath to himself, who bore him Hur.
. . . . . . 46 And Ephah, Caleb's concubine, bore Haran,
and Moza, and Gazez. And Haran fathered Gazez. 47 And the sons of Jahdai: Regem and
Jotham and Geshan and Pelet and Ephah and Shaaph. 48 Maachah, Caleb's concubine, bore Sheber,
and Tirhanah. 49 She also bore Shaaph the father of Madmannah, Sheva the father of
Machbenah, and the father of Gibea. And Caleb's daughter [was] Achsah. 50 These were
the sons of Caleb the son of Hur. The first-born of Ephratah [was] Shobal the father
of Kirjath-jearim; 51 Salma the father of Bethlehem, Hareph the father of Beth-gader.
1 Chronicles 4: 1 The sons of Judah [were] Pharez, Hezron, and Carmi, and Hur, and
Shobal. . . . . . .These [are] the sons of Hur, the first-born of Ephratah, the
father of Bethlehem. 5 And Ashur the father of Tekoa had two wives, Helah and Naarah.
1 Chronicles 7:14 The sons of Manasseh: Ashriel, the son born to his Syrian concubine with Machir the father of
Gilead,
15 and Machir took a wife for Huppim and for Shuppim; and the name of his sister [was]
Maachah. And the name of the second [was] Zelophehad. And Zelophehad had daughters.
16 And Maachah the wife of Machir bore a son,
and she called his name Peresh. And the name of his brother [was] Sheresh, and his
sons [were] Ulam and Rakem.
1 Chronicles 8: 8 And Shaharaim fathered [sons] in the land of Moab, after he had sent them away. Hushim
and Baara [were] his wives. 9 And by his wife Hodesh,
[were] Jobab, and Zibia, and Mesha, and Malcham, 10 and Jeuz, and Shachia, and Mirma.
These [were] his sons, heads of the fathers.
[Exactly where is God's denunciation and disapproval of the patriarchs' polygyny expressed?
Consider what Saint Augustine said in the fourth century AD.
"But here there is no ground for a criminal accusation: for a plurality of wives was
no crime when it was the custom; and it is a crime now, because it is no longer the
custom. There are sins against nature, and sins against custom, and sins against
the laws. In which, then, of these senses did Jacob sin in having a plurality of wives?
As regards nature, he used the women not for sensual gratification, but for the
procreation of children. For custom, this was the common practice at that time in
those countries. And for the laws, no prohibition existed. The only reason of its being
a crime now to do this, is because custom and the laws forbid it."
[Footnote: >.14 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. iv; p. 289]
I hope that dear brother Augustine is having a wonderful time in Heaven. I also hope
that Jesus has shared with Him meaning of Prov. 5:18, 19----- a husband's sensual
gratification by and with his wife's breasts, being enraptured and intoxicated with
and by her lovemaking; the sensual gratification of the marital joys of the Song of
Solomon; the joyful marital living of Eccles. 9:7,8,9; and the sensual gratification
of the blissful exchange of intimate marital affection required in 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5.
I don't understand how he could have missed these obvious God given instructions to
blissfully and wholeheartedly love our mates in marriage.
The maidservant status of Hagar and Jacob's wives is clothed in marital status>74
. It is a profound statement that in all of the explicit moral injunctions of Lev.
18, 19, &20; Deut 12 & 27 there is not one denunciation of polygyny or concubinage.
Concubinage apparently, because it involved maidservants, seems to have a lower status
as reflected in Ex. 21:7-9 with Lev. 19:20 in contrast to Deut. 22:23-26.]
GOD GAVE MOSES RULES ABOUT POLYGYNY
*Exodus 21:7 And if a man sells his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go
out as the menservants do. 8 If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to himself,
then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no power to sell her to a strange
nation, since he has dealt deceitfully with her. 9 And if he has betrothed her to
his son, he shall deal with her as with daughters. 10 If he takes himself another [wife], her food, her clothing, and her duty of marriage
shall not be lessened.
11 And if he