PART TWO OF TWO PARTS TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS; Another Look for Christians. COPYRIGHT © JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Copyright © 01/14/'95; 01/12/Õ96 (Revised) This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined. This is an ASCII text only copy of a Macintosh MicrosoftWord5 file made for non-Macintosh folks, so it is very plain and basic in its form (footnotes, indentation and page layout). The document is 6" wide and Palatino 12 plain font in the original. So when your text only version comes up with Palatino 14, just select all and change it to Palatino 12 or 10. By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162- 0763 polyboy@delphi.com This work is dedicated with love and honor to Carol Lynn McIntyre of Camelot (3/24/'49), Beverly Landers Tyler(4/11/'52), Keith Adams, Diane Tava Lovelady, Lua Nguyen, Marilyn Tyler (7/27/'49) and Paula Dugas. It is also dedicated to all those who have suffered through divorce and the complexities of remarriage, and to all of the following: 1. The shattered African polygynist husbands and their families who are made to feel like second class citizens in the local church because of their polygyny, made to feel less loved by Christ and made to feel less a child of God by the local "Christians". 2. The broken hearted Chinese polygynist wives and their children in their local churches who are shunned by the proper members and made to feel less welcome and spiritually inferior because of their polygynous families. 3. The devastated Burmese polygynist husbands who believe in and have received the Lord Jesus Christ, but who are rejected and shunned by the local "Christian" church/leader because they love their wives too much to divorce them. 4. The grieved, stumbled, offended and broken hearted born-again and Spirit sealed Indian wives and children of the born-again and Spirit sealed husband who loved his wives and children too much to renounce and repudiate them in order to be baptized and accepted by the local"Christian' church, and so now live in Christ, denied fellowship by their local congregation of "Christians". 5. The discouraged Mid-Eastern polygynist husbands who genuinely wanted to know Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny. It would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the Gospel! 6. The troubled Liberian polygynist wives and children who genuinely wanted to know Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny. It would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the Gospel! 7. The broken hearted, stumbled, offended and grieved Kenyan polygynist wives and their children whose husbands and fathers were forced to reject and renounce them in order to be baptized and join the local "Christian" church.; especially in the case where a carnal husband used the church rule as an excuse to get rid of a wife and children he didn't want. 8. The disconsolate Pakistani polygynist husbands who are stumbled, grieved, offended and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how badly they and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church. 9. The grief stricken Bengali polygynist wives and children who are stumbled, grieved, offended and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how badly they and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church. 10. The miserable Thai polygynist husbands who, with grave doubts and troubled hearts, succumbed to "Christian" pressure to renounce and reject (Malachi 2:13-17) all of their wives except one to satisfy the demands of some misguided "Christian" leader, or association of "Christians". TABLE OF CONTENTS ( Everybody's computer is potentially different, and if you Select All Font to "clean it up", reducing it to Palatino 12 or Geneva 10, you should probably use Find to find, by chapter number, any particular chapter/appendix you are interested in.) I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED. P. 4 II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. P. 8 III. DIVORCE DEFINED. P. 23 IV. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES! P. 25 V. WHAT DO CHRISTIAN LEADERS SAY ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY? P. 50 VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISNÕT POLYGYNY ADULTERY? P. 66 VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY COUNTRY? P. 73 VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY? P. 82 IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE! P. 87 X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY? P. 91 XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGE? P. 99 XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS? P. 108 XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE? P. 112 XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED. P. 119 XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/ CONCUBINES TO HIS "HAREM". P. 121 XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED MAN? P. 126 XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE. P. 129 XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN. P. 130 XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY? P. 134 XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT- TEACHERS RULE .P. 137 XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST! P. 141 XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD! P. 145 XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY P. 147 APPENDIX ONE -- WHAT ABOUT INTERRACIAL AND INTERETHNIC MARRIAGE? P.150 APPENDIX TWO -- WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE FEEDING OF TWO LEGGED OXEN. P.157 APPENDIX THREE -- A WEDDING COVENANT FOR NONSWEARERS - P. 159 APPENDIX FOUR -- WHAT MAKES A WEDDING/MARRIAGE? - P. 161 APPENDIX FIVE -- MARRYING THE UNSAVED AND "SAINTS" LIVING IN ERROR. - P.163 APPENDIX SIX -- WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY? - P. 167 APPENDIX SEVEN -- THE ERRR OF SWEARING, OF OATHS AND SWEARING OATHS. -P.182 APPENDIX EIGHT--BLACK POLYGYNY RESOURCES XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER AND REMARRY AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGES? Ezekiel 16: 3 . . . ÒThus says the Lord Jehovah unto Jerusalem: Your birth and Your nativity is of the land of the Canaanite: your father was an Amorite, and your mother a Hittite. 8 And I passed by you, and looked upon you, and behold, your time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over you, and covered your nakedness; and I SWORE UNTO YOU, AND ENTERED INTO A COVENANT WITH YOU says the Lord Jehovah, and you became mine. . . . 15 ¦ But you did confide in your beauty, and played the harlot because of your renown, and poured out your whoredoms on every one that passed by: his it was. . . . . 32 O adulterous wife, that takes strangers instead of her husband. 59 For thus says the Lord Jehovah: I will even deal with you as you have done, WHO HAVE DESPISED THE OATH, AND BROKEN THE COVENANT. 60 ¦ Nevertheless I will remember MY COVENANT with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish unto you an everlasting covenant. 61 And you shall remember your ways, and be confounded, . . . I will give them unto you for daughters, but not by virtue of YOUR COVENANT. 62 And I will establish MY COVENANT WITH YOU, and you shall know that I [am] Jehovah; 63 that you may remember, and be ashamed, and no more open your mouth because of your confusion, when I forgive you all that you have done, says the Lord Jehovah.Ó Should I go back to my godly mate from whom I, a born again believer, was divorced while we were both in the Lord? What does the Word say? Consider God's example, the model he sets for us. Hosea 9: 1 ¦ ÒRejoice not, Israel, exultingly, as the peoples; for you have gone a whoring from your God, you have loved harlot's hire upon every corn- floor. 11: 7 Yea, my people are bent upon backsliding from me: though they call them to the Most High, none at all exalts [him]. 8 ¦ How shall I give you over, Ephraim? [how] shall I deliver you up, Israel? how shall I make you as Admah? [how] shall I set you as Zeboim? My heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together. 9 I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger . . . 14:1 ¦ O Israel, return unto Jehovah your God; for you have fallen by your iniquity. 2 Take with you words, and turn to Jehovah; say unto him, Forgive all iniquity, and receive [us] graciously; so will we render the calves of our lips. . . . neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, [You are] our God; because in you the fatherless finds mercy. 4 ¦ I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely; for mine anger is turned away from him. 5 I will be as the dew unto Israel: he shall blossom as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon. . . . 7 They shall return and sit under his shadow; they shall revive [as] corn, and blossom as the vine: . . . 9 Who is wise, and he shall understand these things? intelligent, and he shall know them? For the ways of Jehovah are right, and the just shall walk in them; but the transgressors shall fall therein.Ó Gen. 2:24 ÒTherefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.>104. For the permanence of the relationship the focus is on the word "cleave" which in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.">105. Thayer says it means "to glue upon, glue to">106. If God commands the husband to conduct himself in this manner towards his wife, then he had better do it if he wants a good future with God, because to disobey would be death>176 . Being under this command would certainly bind a man to his wife as long as both lived. [Footnotes>104. King James Version. The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text agrees with the meaning. >105. Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance. >106. Greek English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co., New York, 1889 . >176 Rom. 1:28-32; 1 Cor. 5:5-11; 11:30,31,32.] The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen. 2:24 uses the same word for "cleave" that Jesus uses in Matt. 19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's Gen. 2:24 and Jesus' Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1. According to Thayer --- "to join one's self to closely, cleave to, stick to"; and 2. According to Arndt & Gingrich ---"adhere closely to, be faithfully devoted to, join ÒtiniÓ someone">107 . The Greek tense in both is future indicative passive which means that this is what they shall have themselves doing in the future on a regular basis. You say that it is not a command? Jesus seems to differ with you both in Malachi 2, where He says the husband who breaks his marital agreement with his wife is under His wrath, and in Matt 19:6 where Jesus says "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate." Based on the truth of Ephes. 1:11 (He "works all things according to the counsel of His own will") and Rom. 13:1-3 ("For there is no power but of God; the authorities that be are ordained by God"), every legal and moral marriage is ordained or allowed by God and takes place under His control, so indeed God has joined them. That's why we can trust God with 1 Cor. 7:17- 28, that we are to remain married to the person we are married to when we are saved. So in this case, even 1 Cor. 7 speaks of the binding nature of marriage. So Jesus makes binding >177 the cleaving>178 and the one flesh experience that we know as marriage. [Footnotes:{>.{n107 A GREEK-ENGLISH LEXICON OF THE NEW TESTAMENT and Other Early Christian Literature ; By W.F.Arndt & F. W. Gingric. >177 (Mt. 19:6). >178 (Mt. 19:5).] What do the experts say? There is no controversy that marriages, divorces, and remarriages that happened before one was saved are not binding on the new convert to Christ. The case of the one who is saved while married to an unsaved person has some controversy>179 . But what is the Word for those Christians who have married, divorced and remarried all since they were genuinely and fruitfully saved and walking in loving obedience to the Savior? Consider the following: [Footnote: >179 1 Corinth. 7:12,13,14,15] ÒIn the present modern tangle of marriage, divorce, and remarriage the Christian Church, in dealing with converts and repentant members, is often compelled to accept the situation as it is.Ó>108 [Footnote: >..n108 The New Bible Dictionary, J.D. Douglas Ph.D. p..790.] ÒIn the NT divorce seems to be forbidden absolutely. . . Our Lord teaches that the OT permission was a concession to a low moral standard, and was opposed to the ideal of marriage as an inseparable union of body and soul. . . But remarriage also closes the door to reconciliation, which on Christian principles ought always to be possible; cf. the teaching of Hosea and Jer. 3; Hermas [2nd Cent. AD] (Mand. iv.1) allows no re-marriage, and lays great stress on the taking back of a repentant wife.Ó>109 [Footnote: >..n109 HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p. 586.] ÒTo such a degree is that marriage compact entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it is not made void even by separation itself, since, so long as her husband lives, even by whom she hath been left, she commits adultery, in case she be married to another: and he who hath left her, is the cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the compact of marriage is not done away by divorce intervening; so that they continue wedded persons one to another, even after separation; and commit adultery with those, with whom they shall be joined, even after their own divorce, either the woman with a man, or the man with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all entered upon in the City of our god, where, even from the first union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental character, can no way be dissolved but by the death of one of them. . . Therefore the good of marriage throughout all nations and all men stands in the occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so far as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity of the sacrament, by reason of which it is unlawful for one who leaves here husband, even when she has been put away, to be married to another, so long as her husband lives, no not even for the sake of bearing children: . . . not even where that very thing, wherefore it takes place, follows not, is the marriage bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or wife.Ó>75 [Footnote: >. 75 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406, 412. ] Since the only terms of divorce are given in Deut 24:1-4 which was superseded by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor. 7:10-15,39, it is clear that marriage is a life long relationship based on the covenants of the couple and on God's command not to be put asunder or put asunder the relationship. What about Deut. 24:1-5? Does it set some kind of precedent or establish some kind of principle that would loose a godly couple from the binding nature of their relationship before God? Deut. 23:13 = Òand you shall have a trowel on your girdle; and it shall come to pass when you would relieve yourself abroad, that you shall dig with it, and shall bring back the earth and cover your {nuisance}. 14 Because the Lord your God walks in your camp to deliver you . . . and your camp shall be holy, and there shall not appear in you A {DISGRACEFUL THING}>111. , and so he shall turn away from you. . . Ò [Footnote: >111. {caps mine}; same Hebrew words in both Dt. 23:14 as in Dt 24:3 in LXX.] Deut. 24:3= ÒAnd if any one should take a wife, and should dwell with her, then it shall come to pass if she should not have found favour before him, because he has found some {UNBECOMING THING} >111. in her, that he shall write for her a bill of divorcement and give it into her hands, and he shall send her away out of his house. 4. And if she should go away and be married to another man; 5. and the last husband should hate her, and write for her a bill of divorcement; and should give it into her hands, and send her away out of his house, and the last husband should die, who took here to himself for a wife; 6. the former husband who sent her away shall not be able to return and take her to himself for a wife, after she has been defiled; because it is an abomination before the Lord your God, and you shall not defile the land which the Lord thy God gives you to inherit.Ó>112. [Old English updated] [Footnote: *>111. ditto: caps mine; same Hebrew words in both Dt. 23:14 as in Dt 24:3 in LXX. >112. Please see The Septuagint Version; 1972; Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Mich.] Deut. 23:15. . . Ò that He see no {UNSEEMLY THING}>113. in thee, and turn away from thee.Ó Deut. 24:1-4 . . . Òbecause he hath found some {UNSEEMLY>114. THING}>115. in her, . . .Ó>116. [Footnote: (>113. caps mine; same Hebrew word in Deut 23:15 as in Deut 24:1. >114. "unseemly thing" = American Standard Version; Thomas Nelson; 1901. >115. {caps mine}; same Hebrew word in Deut 23:15 as in Deut 24:1. >116. The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text] Deut. 23:14 . . . ÒHe must not see anything {INDECENT}>117. among you lest He turn away from you. . .Ó Deut. 24:1-4 . . . Òhe has found some {INDECENCY}>118. in her. . Ò>119. [Footnote: >117. {caps} mine; same Hebrew word in Deut 23:14 as in Deut 24:1. >118. ditto:{caps} mine; same Hebrew word in Deut 23:14 as in Deut 24:1. . . >119. Holy Bible New American Standard; 1977.] Thank God for the originals so that we can see that the Hebrew word used in Deut 23 is the same as used in Deut. 24, and that it apparently means anything deemed or decreed by God to be unholy, a sin or an abomination. In Deut 23 that includes human feces and excrement which God made know by law to His people that it was unclean and defiling in His eyes. Using the Word the way the Spirit used the Word would enable us to understand that whatever the husband found in the wife that was "unseemly" or "indecent", was something expressly and explicitly declared by God to be unholy and defiling in His Word. This included any of the bodily ailments that resulted in an unnatural excretion or flow of bodily fluids, things like leprosy, running sores, and figurative things that made you unholy like idolatry and breaking the commandments of God through Moses. The word rendered "indecency" in the phrase "he has found some indecency" means something expressly and explicitly declared by God to be unholy and defiling in His Word, including any of the bodily ailments that resulted in an unnatural excretion or flow of bodily fluids, things like leprosy, running sores, and figurative things that made you unholy like idolatry and breaking the commandments of God through Moses. The word rendered "defiled" in the phrase " not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled" is used by God of sexual defilement>180 , spiritual defilement >181 defilement by death or bodily emissions>182 . [Footnote: >180 (Gen. 34:5,13; Lev. 18:24; Num. 5:13- 29). >181 (Lev. 19:31; Ezek. 22:4; 23:7). >182 (Lev. 15:32; 21:1-3).] This means that the "indecency" or "unseemliness" that led Benhadad to divorce Lohana could be the same "defilement" that makes the situation so that he cannot remarry her. Specifically, Lohana could either have been an unbelieving Jewess or a Jewess with an abnormal external flow of bodily fluids, both of which were unseemly, unholy and indecent according to the Sinai Law of Moses. If Lohana was divorced by Benhadad for this unholy indecency, remarried Abdullah while still unholy and indecent and then divorced again or widowed by Abdullah-- ---still all the while an unbelieving Jewess or a Jewess with the abnormal external flow of bodily fluids. The problem that led Benhadad to divorce Lohana is still her problem after the remarriage and the divorce, a problem that makes her and marriage to her unholy, unseemly and/or indecent according to the Law of Moses. For him to remarry her would be the fulfillment of Prov. 26:11 and 2 Pt. 2:22 where " . . . 'A dog returns to his own vomit', and, 'a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire.'". This is not and would not be acceptable to God. This fits well with the after-Moses OT precedents found in Ezra and Nehemiah where God commanded that the people divorce those whom they disobeyed Him to marry, who were idolaters and lived in disobedience to His Word, people with whom God had forbidden marriage. For a Jew to have remarried one of these wives would have been the unholiness of flagrant disobedience. That the disqualifying thing in these wives was their spiritual heritage rather than their race is obvious by the fact that God did not forbid marriage to believing Egyptians (Joseph), Philistines (Samson), Syrians, Assyrians or Ethiopian Cushites (Moses), etc. The same principles work in the Church of today. We know that it is unholy and therefore unacceptable to marry a "saint" living in sin>183 , or to marry an unbeliever>184 . Now if I married someone who called herself a believer, but because of problems that surfaced after the wedding we had to do Matt. 18:15-17-20 and she turned out to be a "heathen", I would have had grounds to divorce her in OT times according to Deut 24, but now under the Law of Christ in 1 Cor. 7: 12-15 I am not free to divorce her unless she is unwilling to live with me or has left me. If she became unwilling to live with me and then left me, I would be free from her maritally and free to remarry. For me to remarry her still in her "heathen" unholiness/defilement would be a sin in violation of the Scriptures120 , and an abomination to God. [Footnote: >183 1 Cor. 5; 2 Thess. 3:6-14; 2 Tim. 3:5; 1 Tim.6:5. >184 (2 Cor. 6:14-7:1). >.n120 Please see Appendix Five.] If you can accept the preceding understanding of Deut. 23 & 24, a woman divorced for unholiness is not to be taken back by her husband in her unholiness, then there is no problem from these passages for a godly brother to remarry his godly wife who, in ignorance or in a snare by the enemy >185, divorced him or was divorced by him and had gone on and married someone else. [Footnote: >185 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Gal. 6:1; 1 Cor. 5:5-11 + 2 Cor 2).] If you understand the unholy indecency of the woman in Deut. 24 to be some specific violation of God's Law of Moses, an unholy indecency which caused her to be divorced and forbids her former husband from remarrying her because such a remarriage would violate some specific Law of Moses ----- then there is no application of this passage to two born again and godly saints today who, in ignorance or in a snare by the enemy>186 , were divorced and had gone on and remarried others, but now, acknowledging the Word of God that they are bound as husband and wife for life (1 Cor. 7 & Rm. 7), want to remarry in repentance. [Footnote: >186 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Gal. 6:1; 1 Cor. 5:5-11 + 2 Cor 2)] Some Christians say you Òcannot go back, once youÕve remarriedÓ>187 . They cite Deuteronomy 24:1-4 as their proof text. First of all, we know that we are not under that command according to Ephesians 2:14,15,16; Colossians 2:13-17 and Acts 15. Secondly, it cannot be argued that it is a "higher-than-the-law- of-Moses" principle of defilement and uncleanness. Yes God did keep the king from defiling Abraham's Sarah. But the same God blessed the marriage of the very defiled harlot Rahab so that she became a direct ancestor of both King David and Jesus. His Word in Deut. 24:1-4 is followed by his Word in Deut. 25:5-10 that the defiled-by-former-husbands widows were to be married to their brother-in-laws etc>. Ruth, a defiled-by-former-husband widow, was blessed in her marriage with Boaz so that she also became a direct ancestor of King David and Jesus. Jesus commands the church defiled-by-former-husband widows to remarry in the Lord in 1 Timothy 5. [Footnote: >187 Deut. 24:1-4; Matt. 5:17-20; Luke 16:17. No where in the Word of God does it say that your remarriage in adultery looses you from GodÕs binding Christian-you to your Christian mate for life>188. Jesus plainly states that Deut. 24:1-4 was given because of the hardness of their hearts>189 not because it was the best thing to do. Christians have been given Ònew heartsÓ and were released from Deut. 24:1-4 by the Lord in Ephes. 2:14,15 and Colos.2:13,14. So what do Christian-you do about the Christian mate that Christian-you divorced and you married another in adultery>190 , or about your Christian mate who divorced Christian- you and then married another in adultery>191 ? [Footnote: >188. Romans 7:1-5; 1 Corinth. 7:3-11,39. >189 (Matt. 19:8). >190 Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; 1 Cor. 7:10,11. >191 Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; 1 Cor. 7:10,11.] While still being bound to your Christian mate, you may have to separate from, or perhaps even divorce, your Christian mate as part of the ChurchÕs discipline of your ÒChristianÓ mate who is living in sin>192 Since the purpose of Church discipline is to result in repentance and reconcilia-tion>193 , the separation/divorce should be seen as a temporary measure, unless the Lord puts the sinning saint to ÒsleepÓ in death>194 , or turns out to be an unbeliever>195 If there is repentance by your adulterous and remarried Christian mate, should you be reconciled to your repentant mate? Since you two are bound maritally for life by the Lord, I would hope so. What does God say? Because of John 8 and Eph. 2 and Colos. 2 we donÕt stone to death adulterers and adulteresses. Because of 1 Corinth 7:10-15,39; and Romans 7:1-5 we donÕt just walk away and disown our mates. In the Church's Ecumenical Council, the African Code of A.D. 419 stated that "It seemed good that according to evangelical and apostolical discipline a man who had been put away from his wife, and a woman put away from her husband should not be married to another, but so should remain, or else be reconciled the one to the other. . .">121 [Footnote: >192 Romans 16:17;1 Corint. 5:9-11; Eph. 5:11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14;1Tim. 6:3-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; Matt. 18:15-20. >193 (2 Corinth 2 and 7). >194 1 Corinth. 5:4-8; 11:28-32. >195 Matthew 18:15-18. >.n121 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church,Vol. XIV; p. 493.] King David took his wife Michal back after she had been given in marriage to another, with GodÕs blessing>.196. Some might say that he took her back but wasn't intimate with her, as he did with the wives/concubines that his son raped>197. That doesn't seem to be the case with Michal because the Holy Spirit made a point of the fact that He caused her to be barren AFTER she had returned to David from her other husband-in-adultery>.198 If he brought Michal back but was not intimate with her there would have been no point to God making her barren. So apparently David was being intimate with Michal after her adultery but God made sure she was barren after her sin. [Footnote: ~>.~196. 1 Sam. 25:44; 2 Sam. 3:13-16. >197. 2 Sam 16:21,22; 19:5; 20:3. #>.#198. 1 Sam 25; 2 Sam 6:16-23.] Hosea the prophet was told by God to marry an unfaithful woman and then to take her back as wife after she had been unfaithful to him. In Ezekiel 16 and 23 God presents Himself as a husband who takes back his unfaithful wife. So there is a place for reconciliation and reunion of two obedient believers who are bound for life but who sinned by divorcing and remarrying. There are grounds for leaving an adulterous marriage and going back to the Christian mate to whom you are bound for life. So why the Word in Deut. 24:1-4 about not taking back your ex-wife after she has remarried? Jesus tells us that Deut. 24:1-4 was given because of the hardness>199. of their hearts, not because it was God's best for them. Jesus overruled Deut. 24 and restored His Law that made divorce itself just as much an abomination>200. as the "abomination" of taking back your ex-wife after she had been married to somebody else. Perhaps Deut. 24 and it hardness-of-heart rule was a temporary attempt by God to discourage divorce, at least frivolous divorce. Whatever the reason, it wasn't just a defilement issue, because the Deut. 25:5- 10; Rahab & Ruth 4; David & Michal, Hosea passages make it clear that there is and was no sin or defilement in marrying a woman who had been "defiled" by her former husband (David and Abigail, Ruth and Boaz) or some other man (Rahab the harlot) before the current marriage. [Footnote: >199. Matthew 19:1-19. ^>.^200. Malachi 2.] The Holy Spirit did not restate or reinstate the hardness-of-heart rule in the cases of 1 Tim. 5:10-14, or 1 Cor. 7:15, 39 or Romans 7:1-5. The only restrictions on remarriage were that they be "in the Lord", which at least means within the Lord's explicit will and marrying someone who is in the Lord. Everything in John 8; Gal. 6:1; Mat. 18:15-18; 2 Cor. ch. 2 and ch. 7; Hosea, Ezekiel etc. all call for accepting back the repentant and believing mate who fell in adultery and has heard Jesus say, "Go and sin no more!" XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS? What if the saved mates want to reunite, acknowledging their bound-for-life status before God, after they have sinfully separated, been adulterous, divorced or remarried? With so many sexually transmitted diseases (STD) out and about today, it is a pressing question. What if the couple who wish to reunite still have small or dependent children so that they must make sure that at least one of them lives to care for them? If one of the two has acquired genital warts, it's only annoying for the husband but the wife would have to deal with the fact that reunion with full marital intimacy could expose her to cervical cancer, a leading killer of women. There are diseases that only affect fertility but if the couple has had no children yet, then that is a major decision for them to make with possible remedies like artificial insemination or etc>. What if one of them has genital herpes? For some people, usually the woman, that results in great discomfort periodically, sometimes even temporarily disabling. Would the reuniting mate be willing to be exposed to that if the other mate had it? What about HIV and AIDS? It's a death sentence with a heart break, and an ugly painful death at that. What do you do if saved you and your saved mate wish to acknowledge the reality of your bound-for-life status before God but you are staring an STD right in the face as a possible consequence? Some would run right back to Deut. 24 and say that reconciliation is out since one or both have been "defiled". But defilement under the law included everything from nocturnal seminal emissions, running sores, blood, touching a dead body, eating the wrong food, touching or associating with gentiles (non Jews) or a woman's menstrual flow. The patriarch married Rahab the harlot of Jericho, who certainly had been defiled, and became an ancestor of Mary and Jesus. Under Deut. 25, every brother who married his brother's widow married a woman who had been defiled by another man (the dead brother). I don't think that is the issue. What does being bound-for-life-maritally-in-the-Lord mean when one or both have STD's? When one or both have STD's that could end or severely handicap life? I have some idea of what this means because I was engaged to a dear saint whose deceased husband of 20 years had been repeatedly unfaithful to her, exposing her to whatever his whores had, and then after their divorce she backslid in depression and was seduced by a felonious excon, and we know of the homosexual diseases to which excons are exposed. A brother I know became engaged to a church going "Christian" lady and then found out that before they met she had been a prostitute with over 100 other men, some in refugee camps in utter poverty where her pay was food for her and her children. He worried about what he had exposed himself to just by kissing her. Again, what does being bound-for-life-maritally-in- the-Lord mean when one or both have STD's? If we really believe that the "wife is bound by the law [of God] as long as her husband lives">201 , then we must also believe the commands and truths of Prov. 5:18,19; and 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5 where your marital partner's rights and responsibilities are described. Are you ready and willing to repent of wrongfully leaving or divorcing your saved mate and marrying another (or just being intimate with another)? Are you, the abandoned/ divorced/rejected mate, ready to grant 2 Cor. 2 forgiveness to your mate has demonstrated 2 Cor. 7 godly repentance for his or her 1 Cor. 5 offense against you and God? The blessing is on those who hear and obey. The sin lies at the door of the one who knows to do right and does not do it. [Footnote: >201 (1 Cor. 7:39).] But what about STD's? Do you expect me to resume full marital intimacy with my saved and repentant mate who now has genital herpes and/or penicillin resistant gonorrhea? Yes these are very inconvenient and genuine concerns and the Old Testament Law would have forbidden you to touch people with such issues. But according to Acts 15, Eph. 2 and Colos. 2 we are not bound by the Mt. Sinai Law given to Moses now. That infected and repentant mate, bound to you by God as long as you both live, still has 1 Cor. 7:2-5 authority over your body and you still are under 1 Cor. 7:4,5 authority to meet her needs in marital intimacy so that mate wont be dangerously tempted by the enemy of your souls. The physical peril is greater than the spiritual peril. You have what your mate needs>202 in marital intimacy, the precedents>203 show that it is your responsibility to meet those needs that only you can meet. You are not being asked to lay down your life for your mate>204 . You may land up bearing the burden>205 of the ailment with your mate but that is godly and rewarded/blessed in the Lord. The one who seeks to save his life is the one who looses it before the Lord, whereas the one who lays down his life for another is the one who receives it again anew forever from the Lord. [Footnote: >202 (1 Jn. 3:17). >203 Luke 3:11; Acts 20:36; 1 Tim. 6:17-19; Eph. 4:28; 2 Cor 8 & 9; James 2:14-17; Deut. 15;7;Prov. 3:27,28; 21:13; Job 31:16- 23. >204.(1 Jn. 3:16; Jn. 15:13; Rom. 16:4; Mk. 8:35). >205 (Ga. 6:2; Rom. 15:1-6).] Creativity is not a sin. The two may mutually decide that their needs in marital sex could be met by mutual petting to orgasm, or erotic massage, erotic bathing, or etc. so that there is no genital to genital contact, no exchange of infectious fluids. Condoms are little or no protection with even the best of them failing to protect 30% of the time in federal tests that involved no motion on an artificial penis>#. The latex gloves that surgeons use offer some protection. They both can pray for wisdom and receive it from God on how to wisely meet their marital sex responsibilities to each other in a godly and loving manner without infecting the other. But the bottom line is that the love of God constrains them both to meet each other's marital sex needs in order to obey God and deliver their partner from life threatening temptations>206 . [Footnote: ># Dr. Loraine Day, surgeon. >206 (1 Cor. 7:2-5; Prov. 5:18,19,20)] What if my repentant and returning mate has HIV or AIDS? If you have dependent children to raise, you have some hard planning and decision making ahead of you. I can only offer my untried opinions. You must seek the Lord in fasting and prayer in this. The thought that comes to my mind is that of St. Francis of Assisi ministering to the lepers to the risk of himself and his beloved brethren. I think again of the beloved saint in Hawaii who ministered to the lepers in his leper colony and finally contracted it and died himself as a leper. And I think of Christ who fleshed Himself in this world of leprous sin, lived with we spiritually leprous sinners, and then voluntarily died, taking all our leprous sin into His own pure and sinless body. Isn't He our Master? Isn't that His way? Aren't we called to follow in His footsteps>207 ? Did He dodge and forego the suffering He was called to for us? Can we do any less as His Ambassadors? Isn't He the same Christ who indwells us and lives in us, our very life, and would He shrink from laying down His life in you for your mate who has AIDS but needs your marital sex according to 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4; and Prov. 5:18,19,20 in order to avoid the deadly temptations>208 that will come if you don't meet you mate's needs? They knew Him by the nail prints in His hands. Would it be too much for Him to ask you to be known by the AIDS of your needy mate in whom He also dwells? Is not His grace sufficient in every need and crisis? Can't you depend on Him to keep His Word to not let you be tried in this life more than you are able to bear>209 ? Read your Bible, Amy Carmichael's Rose from Briar, Amy's Gold Cord, Corrie Ten Boom's writings! Our God is able and we are a people called to take up our cross daily, laying down our lives for our brethren. I believe the same scriptures that compelled Peter Elliot to risk his life and be martyred in Ecuador - compel the saved mate to respond according to 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5 to the genuine marital sex needs of their saved, repentant and returning mate. [Footnote: >207 (1 Peter 2:21,22,23,24). >208 (1Cor. 7:5). >209 (1 Cor. 10:13)] Of course if the infected wife had the gift of continence, having no need of marital sex and was free from temptation, and so was able to deny herself her right so that her beloved mate need not be exposed, that would be the way to go for them. Sometimes something as easy as asking and endocrinologist to help a Christian male medically lower his testosterone level to the lowest safe level can so lessen the intensity of the aching needs and appetites that they cease to be a problem. But he would need to do it with the doctor monitoring him since we now know that hormonal imbalances can result in tumors and cancers. But we each have our gift>210, and even AIDS doesn't change those marital gifts which physically and mentally express themselves powerfully as aching needs and compelling appetites, as 1 Cor. 7:9 & 1 Tim. 5:11-14 and the practicers of Prov. 5:18,19,20 can tell you. [Footnote: >210 (1 Cor. 7)] XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE , VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN POLYGYNY OR CONCUBINAGE? We are called to speak Truth to each other (Eph.4) by the God Who is the Truth.We are called to serve the God who cannot lie. Our God calls us to be a people whose mouths reflect His Light and Truth. The passages below show us that He expects us to be honorable and honest in the agrteements, understanding and contracts we have and make with each other. If we want His blessing, we will provide honest things in the sight of all so as not to give the adversaries an opportunity to blaspheme God or God's work in your life. Consider the se: MKJV PSALM 116:13 ÒI will take the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the LORD. 14 I will pay my vows to the LORD now in the presence of all His people.Ó MKJV PSALM 66:13 ¦ ÒI will go into Your house with burnt offerings; I will pay You my vows,14 [those] which my lips have uttered and my mouth has spoken in my trouble.Ó DBY PSALM 15: ÒJehovah, who shall sojourn in your tent? . . . 2 He that walks uprightly . . .who, if he have sworn to his own hurt, changes it not; . . Ò YLT ECCLES 5:4 ¦ ÒWhen thou vowest a vow to God, delay not to complete it, for there is no pleasure in fools; that which thou vowest--complete. 5 Better that thou do not vow, than that thou dost vow and dost not complete. 6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger, that `it [is] an error,' why is God wroth because of thy voice, and hath destroyed the work of thy hands?Ó MKJV EZEKIEL 17:13 ÒAnd he has taken of the king's seed and has made a covenant with him, and has taken an oath from him. He has also taken the mighty of the land, 14 so that the kingdom might be low, that it might not lift itself up, [but] that by keeping his covenant it might stand. 15 But he rebelled against him in sending his ambassadors into Egypt, to give him horses and many people. Shall he be blessed? Shall he who does such [things] escape? Or SHALL HE BREAK THE COVENANT AND BE DELIVERED? 16 [As] I live, says the Lord Jehovah, surely in the place of the king who made him king, WHOSE OATH HE DESPISED AND WHOSE COVENANT HE BROKE, even with him in the midst of Babylon he shall die. . . . 18 And HE HAS DESPISED THE OATH BY BREAKING THE COVENANT. And, behold, HE HAD GIVEN HIS HAND, AND HAS DONE ALL THESE, HE SHALL NOT ESCAPE. 19 Therefore so says the Lord Jehovah: [As] I live, surely MY OATH THAT HE HAS DESPISED, AND MY COVENANT THAT HE HAS BROKEN, I WILL EVEN REPAY IT ON HIS OWN HEAD. . . . I WILL JUDGE HIM THERE WITH HIS SIN WHICH HE HAS SINNED AGAINST MEÓ. KJV ROMANS 1:28 . . . ÒGod gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; . . . covenantbreakers, . . . 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.Ó If American and legally married John legally marries free-to-marry Betty, it is a sin because John is under command>211 to obey the laws of the government authorities which forbids official/legal bigamy and polygyny and he would have to live with the legal consequences but I don't believe that would nullify the covenants he made with Betty. The covenants that are not covenants-to-sin could still be binding for the two in the Lord. So bigamy is illegal, Christians divorce Christians who are bound by the Lord to each other as long as both live, and Christians go on and marry others while still bound by the Lord to their exÕs under the banner of forgiveness. This combination has very complicated outcomes, consequences and effects which may include marriage, separation, polygyny , concubinage, adultery and/or fornication. Please read on. [Footnote: >211 (Romans 13; 1 Peter 2:12-14)] What about this saved but separated and chaste wife? It seemed to me to be quite unfair that she could leave him and live unmarried, and we have seen that he, knowing he is still bound to her for life, has to struggle with the burning temptations predicted (in 1 Corinth. 7:1-5, 9; See Appendix 6) with no legitimate sexual outlet. The double standard of male polygyny seems to favor the male, while the double standard of the wifeÕs ability to separate (remaining chaste while the male may not separate) seems to favor the female. St. Augustine (4th Cent AD) had a powerful way of stating the permanent nature of the marriage of two who married after being born again, lovingly obedient to Jesus and fruitful in the Spirit--- ÒTo such a degree is that marriage compact entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it is not made void even by separation itself, since, so long as her husband lives, even by whom she hath been left, she commits adultery, in case she be married to another: and he who hath left her, is the cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the compact of marriage is not done away by divorce intervening; so that they continue wedded persons one to another, even after separation; and commit adultery with those, with whom they shall be joined, even after their own divorce, either the woman with a man, or the man with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all entered upon in the City of our god>122, where, even from the first union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental character, can no way be dissolved but by the death of one of them. . . Therefore the good of marriage throughout all nations and all men stands in the occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so far as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity of the sacrament, by reason of which it is unlawful for one who leaves here husband, even when she has been put away, to be married to another, so long as her husband lives, no not even for the sake of bearing children: . . . not even where that very thing, wherefore it takes place, follows not, is the marriage bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or wife.Ó>123 [Footnotes:>122 This footnote mark etc. is not St. Augustine's or Arthur Haddan's. I insert it just in case the reader is not aware of the fact that all marriages between real saints take place "in the City of our god" not according to St. Augustine, but according the the Holy Spirit in Hebrews 11:10,13-19, where they are already seated with Christ in the Heavenlies according to Eph. 1 & 2. >123 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406, 412.] If she divorces him so she can live alone>212 , and he remarries a ÒsisterÓ without rejecting/repudiating/denying/ forsaking her who divorced him (so there is no adultery, see Mark 10:9-11), then yes it is legal in America and both she who wants to be alone and she who married him are both bound to him as long as he lives. She who divorces him to be alone is bound by Law as long as he lives, and she who married this rejected and abandoned man is bound both GodÕs Law and the law of man to him>. Under GodÕs Law the two are bound to him as long as he lives. There is nothing in scripture that contradicts this. We have seen that polygyny is not a sin and an evil. It is against the law and tradition of America and a saint must obey the laws of America>213 as long as they donÕt require us to disobey God. That is manÕs tradition, not GodÕs. [Footnote: >212 (1 Cor. 7:11). >213 (Rom. 13).] In the Old Testament and New Testament times (4000 B.C. to 100 AD) polygyny and concubinage were practiced by Israel, Egypt, Babylon, Greece and Rome according to Jewish historians like Josephus. Yes, officially being married to two women in America is illegal by man's laws and those laws have to be obeyed if possible, but an informal/private covenant relationship between a married man and another woman besides his wife is concubinage, a practice as old as Jacob, Lea and Rachel in Genesis 22 (Lea's and Rachel's handmaidens/ concubines with whom Jacob fathered the heads of the 12 tribes) and is not illegal in America and is practiced on every continent on earth. A "mistress" is not a concubine in Biblical terms because a concubine is maritally bound to her husband by covenants and by the same scriptures as bind a wife to her husband, while a mistress is what the Bible calls a harlot in Ezekiel 16 and 23. Please see the full polygyny discussion enclosed. Keeping one's marital vows/covenants can indeed result in polygyny, especially if done in repentance to a sinful divorce or an adulterous remarriage on the part of one or both of the saved marital partners who abide by God's Word, that they are bound by God maritally as long as both of them live. The foundation for believing that you or your mate is saved would be the following fruits of the Spirit, produced in the believer by the empowering of Christ: (1) They were legally and honorably married, before the divorce etc.; (2) They both had consistent public testimony of their salvation; (3) Their lives were consistent with the Word at home and away from home; (4) They both were compassionately and effectively involved in nurturing and shepherding Christian fellowship; (5) They were both characterized by the fruits of the Spirit instead of the works of the flesh; (6) They were faithfully in the Word in a life changing way; and (7) They were faithfully in prayer on a regular basis. If any of the above are missing, you have good cause to question the salvation of the person in question, which should move you to intercessory prayer and Matt. 18: 15-18. One of the best ways to resolve the question of a persons salvation is to exercise the Mat. 18:15-18 procedure in the manner of 2 Tim. 2:24-26. It would clarify the situation by showing you if your case was that of 1 Cor. 7:10,11,39 or that of 1 Cor. 7:12-15. Sam marries Sophia, both genuinely saved and free to marry in the Lord, and they vowed/covenanted to have each other to be husband and wife to each other, pledging their troth in all honor, love, duty, service, faith and tenderness, to cherish and live with each other according to the ordinance of God, honoring and keeping each other in the holy bond of marriage. Before God and other witnesses they promised and covenanted to be each others comforting, loving and faithful mate; in plenty and in lack, in joy and grief; in infirmity and health; as long as they both live. Then Sophia decides to exercise the sin/repentance option of leaving him and living chastely separated from him>214 as long as he lives. He comes under the tormenting temptation predicted (in 1 Cor. 7:5 & 9,Appendix 6) and so finding himself burning and or failing to control himself, he obeys God's command to marry and marries genuinely saved Serena. Serena accepts him even though he and Serena both know that he is still bound before the Lord to Sophia as husband. For him to reject, repudiate and forsake his marital bond to Sophia in order to marry Serena would make him an adulterer and his marriage to Serena, adultery>215 . Acknowledging his marital bond with both Sophia and Serena he becomes a polygynist, not an adulterer. Sophia has a change of heart and wants to be married to him again, but in the USA he can legally be married to only one wife, so he has to accept her back as his concubine, fully honoring his vows both Serena and Sophia. If Serena doesn't want to be married to an active polygynist, she can sin by leaving him and repent by remaining chastely single as long as he lives. In thought, word and deed he must love each according to his vows, since separation or polygyny do not release him from his vows>124 . [Footnote: >214 1 Cor. 7:11,39. >215 (Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18). >124 See Appendices 4 and 7; (see the pages and scriptures just before the Bibliography).] What if saved Saphronia disobeyed God, left her husband, Eli, and married Raj? Since she is bound to Eli as long as he lives, she has committed adultery>216 . She makes the same vows to Raj as to Eli, in her adultery. After experiencing God's promised chastening>217 she repents, forsaking her adulterous relations with Raj and either returns to marital relations with Eli or chastely lives alone. Raj and Serena would have to do the sin of adultery to keep their vow to have and live with each other as husband and wife, so that vow is nullified (Numbers 30; we are the purchased bride of Christ = 1 Cor. 6:19,20 --so He nullifies our sinful vows, our vows to sin.). Their vows to cherish each other in all honor, love, duty, service, faith and tenderness are not sinful and therefore are not nullified but would have to be exercised chastely and free of any adulterous elements, at least in fervent intercessory prayer for each other. The same would hold true for Eli if he married Poona, Sukkur's lawful wife, in adultery and then repented of it, forsaking the adultery of his marital relations with Poona. Their vows to cherish each other in all honor, love, duty, service, faith and tenderness are not sinful and therefore are not nullified but would have to be exercised chastely and free of any adulterous elements, at least expressed in fervent intercessory prayer. [Footnote: >216 (Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; Rom.7:1- 5). >217 (1 Cor. 11; Heb. 12).] What if Kure and Toegu Ohtani, a genuinely saved couple, had made the wedding vow that they would forsake all others, to keep themselves only to each other as long as both live? Dear little Toegu is overwhelmed by the strains of married life, sins by separating herself from Kure but repents by living chastely and unmarried>218 . Kure comes under the tormenting temptation predicted (in 1 Cor. 7:5 & 9, Appendix 6) and so finding himself burning and or failing to control himself, he obeys God's command to marry>125 and marries genuinely saved Kasai, who accepts Kure even though he, Kasai and Toegu know that he is still bound before the Lord to Toegu as her husband. [Footnote: >218 (1 Cor. 7:10, 11). >.n125 See Appendix #6.] But what about his vow to forsake all others, keeping himself only to Toegu? He finds himself under God's command to keep his word>219 , and he also finds himself under God's command to marry>220 . Toegu refuses to be wife to him so he could beat the predicted temptations caused by her not obeying 1 Cor. 7:2-5 with him. He's bound by their vow but, as predicted, he is being taken advantage of by the Enemy, burning and sometimes failing to control himself. I believe that Kure, who is not his own but the purchased bond slave and member of the Bride of Christ, is released by his Spiritual Lord and Husband from his "forsaking all others" vow and released>221 to obey God's Word>222 to let the loving comfort of marital intimacy drown his burning. [Footnote: >219 (Eccles. 5:1-5; Psa. 15). >220 (1 Cor. 7:5,9,36). >221 (Numbers 30). >222 (1 Cor. 7:4,5,9.]) Any vow to sin is nullified for the believer according to Numbers 30 and 1 Cor. 6:19,20. You are not your own so you have no authority to promise yourself to anything except your Master's will. You would not allow your five year old son to keep his foolish promise to rob a bank. Your boss, hopefully, would not let you use his luxury car to rob the bank you promised to rob using his car. It would be sin on sin to keep sinful vows (Rom.6:1-5). It would not be sin to keep a vow that is in agreement with the Word of God. You have no authority to yield your self to keeping a vow to sin even if your good intention is to keep your word, especially when keeping your word in and of itself would be sin, because what you vowed to do is sin. The best plan is to obey Jesus in Deut. 23:22; Eccles. 5:2,5; Matt. 5:33-37 and James 5:12A>#7 . Instead of vows/promises/covenants/ swearings/oaths, we should obey Jesus in James 4:13-17 and Matt. 5:33-37, making solemn declarations and affirmations of marital intentions, aspirations and hopes instead of making presumptuously arrogant and boastful marital vows about what we are going to do and not do in the future, which belongs to God and not to us. Please see the appendices 6 & 7 for a sample of such marital declarations and affirmations. [Footnote: >7 See the file on oaths] For Kure to reject, repudiate and forsake his marital bond to Toegu in order to marry Kasai would make him an adulterer and his marriage to Kasai, adultery>223 . Acknowledging his marital bond with both Toegu and Kasai he becomes a polygynist, not an adulterer, even if Toeguy can only be his informal and unofficial contracted concubine because of the laws of the land. He keeps all righteous vows to both. [Footnote: >223 (Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18).] If the saved husband, Ndola, has divorced his saved wife, Lusaka, and married another saved wife, Serowe, his repentance for the adultery of both divorcing his wife Lusaka and marrying Serowe -- should at least result in his seriously trying be to reconciled to the Lusaka he left>224 . Then he would have to deal with the question of his vows/ covenants>225 he made with his new saved wife, Serowe. He would have to decide whether or not his covenants, if any, were binding and whether or not that results in him being a polygynist with two wives before the Lord (two wives, or a wife and a concubine before his community). [Footnote: >224 (Prov. 28:13; 1 Cor. 7:11,39). >225 (Psa. 15:4; Prov. 20:25;Ezek. 17:15; Malachi 2:13-17; Rom. 1:31).] The situation could come to pass another way. If Lusaka has gone through a divorce from her saved husband Ndola, and she has married Ankora, her repentance should at least result in her leaving Ankora to either be reconciled to Ndola or live in celibate separation from him>226 . If Lusaka exercised her second best option and gets a divorce separating herself from Ndola in celibacy>227, subjecting Ndola to the temptations of 1 Cor. 7:5 so that his burnings and failures to control himself>228 bring Ndola under God's command to marry>126 and so he marries Serowe and is now bound before God to two saved wives as long as they both live>229. If Lusaka divorced and separated herself and later chooses to be reconciled to Ndola, to whom she is bound by the Lord but who has already remarried Serowe, then they have to decide if they resume their marital relationship with Lusaka being an unofficially contracted concubine in Western monogamous societies, or as either a concubine or a second wife in non-Western polygynous societies. So indeed, adultery, divorce and repentance can result in polygyny and/or concubinage. [Footnote: >226 (1 Cor.7:10,11,39). >227 (1 Cor. 7:11). >228 of 1 Cor. 7:9,36 (1 Th. 4:3,4,5). >.n126 See Appendix 6. >229 (1 Cor. 7:39; Rom. 7:1-3).] XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, POLYGYNY, CONCUBINES AND THE UNSAVED Okay, I know that God doesn't want saved/believing me to marry one who is unsaved/unbelieving>5 , but what if I am/was married to an unsaved person? There is no question in scripture about the permanence of the marriage of two Christians, but what if you are a Christian and your mate is not a Christian, or at least you are not sure if your mate is a Christian because, even though the mate professes to be born-again, the mate's behavior is so sinful you doubt your mate's salvation. The book of First John 2:3-7 makes it clear that a mate's open and unrepentant continual disobedience to clear and explicit commands in the Word of God shows that he doesn't know God. The book of First John 2:19 shows that a mate who professed to be saved and then rejected Christ and Christians never was really saved in the first place. If you still aren't sure if your mate is saved, then Matt. 18:15-19 tells you what to do and if you do it you will know whether or not your mate is truly saved and then may proceeded according to 1 Corinth. 7:10,11,12,13,14, & 15. [Footnote: >5 See Appendix #5.] So what if you have a mate who is plainly unsaved or one who has been found to be unsaved by the Matt. 18:15-18 procedure? The scriptures in 1 Corinth. 7:12,13,14,15 plainly state that as long as the unsaved mate wants to live and/or house with you, you should not leave the unsaved mate. It appears that the saved wife with the unsaved husband probably has the same 1 Corinth 7:10,11 repentance option of separation without remarriage that the saved wife has with her saved husband. The l Corinth. 7:12-15 passages make it clear that (1) if the unsaved no longer wants to live/dwell/ cohabit>127 with the saved, the saved mate may leave the unsaved mate but not be free to remarry since the saved one is free to remarry only if the unsaved departs; and (2) if the unsaved leaves/abandons/ divorces the saved mate, the saved mate may leave/divorce the unsaved mate and be free to remarry. [Footnote: >.n127 Greek Lexicons: BerryÕs Intelinear and ThayerÕs: Ò dwellÓ; Harpers and Brothers Analytical: Òto dwell, cohabitÓ; Arnndt and GingrichÕs: Òdwell, have oneÕs habitationÓ.] What if the believer sinned>230 and left/ divorced the unsaved mate who wanted to live with and remain married to the believer? 2 Corinthians 7 and Prov. 28:13 would seem to say that the believer's repentance of the sin ( a believer leaving the unsaved mate who still wants to live with the believer ) would be to forsake and clear his/herself of leaving/divorcing the unbeliever and return to the unbeliever. If the believer left/divorced the unbeliever while he/she still wanted to live/house with the believer and the believer remarried it would seem to be adultery since the believer wasn't freed according to 1 Cor. 7. What if the unsaved mate was abusive and cruel to the believer so the believer left/divorced the unsaved to live as chastely unmarried? Would the believer still be morally bound to this abusive unbeliever who sincerely still wants to live/house with the believer? I don't know but it would appear to be the same as the case as in 1 Cor. 7:11. Intense believing prayer and fasting>231 can be a big part of the solution for a saved but separated sister whose unsaved husband is both abusive and desirous of living with her. The saints should stand with her in this travail of prayer. [Footnote: >230 (1 Corinthians 7:12-15). >231 Mat. 17:21; Luke 5:33,34; Acts 10:30;13:3; Ephes. 6:12; 2 Cor. 10:3-7] Because of Prov. 28:13 and 2 Corinth. 7 and Philemon I can't believe that she can just say to God, "I goofed and I'm sorry and I know You give the option of separation without marriage to anothe>232 but I don't want to be involved with my abusive unsaved husband anymore so I want you to forgive me for my disobience to Your will (leaving my unsaved husband who still wants to live/house with me) so I can marry somebody else". [Footnote: >232 (1 Cor. 7:11)] There is no scripture that I know of that plainly and explicitly says that a believer who leaves an unbeliever who still wants to live/house with the believer (and the unbeliever has not left the believer) is still morally bound to the unbeliever and not free to remarry. I'm not aware of any scriptural basis for the believer who left the unbeliever to marry someone else if the unsaved mate still wants to live/ house with the believer and has not left/abandoned the believer. If I were in that situation I would take the safest course possible in the absence of any clear scripture and consider myself morally and maritally bound to my unsaved mate as long as my unsaved mate sincerely wants to live/house with me and has not left/abandoned me. As soon as the unbeliever leaves/ abandons/divorces me, no longer sincerely wanting to live/house with me, then I am no longer bound to that unbeliever and am free to remarry as I understand 1 Corinth. 7:12- 15. XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES TO HIS ÒHAREMÓ. What about the married character who says that since polygyny /concubinage is not a sin he will just go ahead and add a couple of new wives to his harem? Well he wont get off the ground in America unless he is rolling in money and has found some like-minded women. Even then they can't formally or legally marry. He could only legally marry one as wife and contract/covenant unofficially with the others as concubines. What about the married "brother" who knows a "sister" who knows she can't marry him because of the bigamy laws but they want to be married so bad that she is willing to be his "concubine" in polygyny , even though she knows his wife objects or doesn't even know? The Spiritual fruit of contentment should prevail. A person should be content with the mate they have. Selfishness is a work of the flesh and anyone who wants a mate, or another mate, or an additional mate, out of selfish reasons is out of the will of God and snared in sin. YLT=1 Tim. 6:5 "wranglings of men wholly corrupted in mind, and destitute of the truth, supposing the piety to be gain; depart from such; 6 ¦ but it is great gain--the piety with contentment; . . . 8 but having food and raiment--with these we shall suffice ourselves; 9 and those wishing to be rich [having more than they need], do fall into temptation and a snare, and many desires, foolish and hurtful, that sink men into ruin and destruction, . . ." [Young's Literal Translation] 1Cor. 7:17 ¦ ÒHowever, as the Lord has divided to each, as God has called each, so let him walk; and thus I ordain in all the assemblies.Ó [Darby] If his present wife objects to his taking a concubine for himself, can't she exercise her second best option>81 and separate herself from him and remain separate or be reconciled to him at some later date? [Footnote: >81 (1 Cor. 7:10,11,39)] If his present wife objects to his taking a concubine for himself, how can he say to Jesus that he is being kind to her, that he is not selfishly seeking his own by taking a concubine? God has promised to chasten>82 those saints who deliberately sin, and if he unkindly and selfishly takes on a concubine, then isn't he going to be chastened? [Footnote: >82 (1 Cor. 11:30 weakness, sickness, death; Ezekiel 14 famine, hurtful beasts, war or personal violence, disease and pestilence)] If his wife is innocently and sincerely grieved, stumbled and offended by his desire to have a concubine, experiencing a genuine sense of loss or betrayal, then he has broken all the principles of Love in Romans 14, 1 Cor. 8 & 10 by using his liberty (to have a concubine) to the hurt of his ÒsisterÓ in the Body of Christ and chastening>83 is certain. Certainly his prayers will be hindered>84. [Footnote: >83 (Malachi 2;1 Cor. 11:30 Heb 12). >84 (1 Peter 3:7;Isa 59:1,2)] What if her objections to his taking a concubine are selfish, hateful, mean spirited, unkind and spiteful? These are all works of the flesh. If his taking a concubine stumbled her into these vices, caused her to fall into these vices, then he is destroying one for whom Christ died and for whom Christ is the Avenger (Rom. 14)] . What if she normally and naturally is selfish, hateful, mean, unkind and selfish? What if her objections to his taking a concubine are selfish, hateful, mean spirited, unkind and spiteful? These are all works of the flesh. If she was this way by her choice before the concubine became an issue between them, she has chosen to walk in the flesh, her salvation is questionable at best, and he is at least in a 1 Cor. 7:12,13 situation: MKJV 1 CORINTH. Ò7:12 But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her away. 13 And the woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with her, do not let her leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving one separates, let [them] be separated. A brother or a sister is not in bondage in such [cases], but God has called us in peace.Ó He is bound to her as long as she wishes to house/dwell with him. With this kind of wife, wouldn't a godly concubine be his Òcorner on the roofÓ, his sanctuary from the strife of her spirit and her tongue? What if she doesn't know about his taking on a "sister" as a concubine (but the world would call her a mistress because they don't believe in marital commitment)? Well the following scriptures indicate that there could be a problem involving honesty: Luke 8:15 ÒBut that in the good ground, these are they who in an honest and good heart, having heard the word keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.Ó Rom. 12:17* Òrecompensing to no one evil for evil: providing things honest before all men: . Ò. Eph. 4:25 ÒWherefore, having put off falsehood, speak truth every one with his neighbor, . . . 29 Let no corrupt word go out of your mouth, but if [there be] any good one for needful edification, that it may give grace to those that hear [it].Ó 2 Cor. 8:21 Òfor we provide for things honest, not only before [the] Lord, but also before men.Ó There would have to be no communications or there would have to be false communications between a man and his wife if the man had a secret concubine on the side. As his wife exercised her authority over his body for affection and sex>86 he probably would, at some point because of the secret concubine, resist her sexual authority>87 over his body and be chastened of God, or he would get into a situation where he would have to lie to get out of it, and be chastened of God. If he keeps that up, couldn't she land up a widow and get to marry again in the Lord since He liberated her from her Judas? [Footnote: >86 (1 Cor.7:3-5). >87 (Romans 13:1- 5)] What if Theo is a devoted, loving and caring husband but Safronia is uninterested in sex with him, passively tolerating sex with him while making him feel, without a word, that he is imposing on her and being burdensome to her in the matter? She refuses the help available from counseling and support groups. Well she obviously is not doing 1 Cor 7:2,3,4,5 as unto the Lord. MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 2 ÒBut, [to avoid] fornication, let each have his [own] wife, and let each have her own husband. 3 Let the husband give to the wife proper kindness, and likewise the wife also to the husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over [her] own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan does not tempt you for your incontinence.Ó Seeing her brother-husband in need, she shuts up her feelings of compassion>88 . But in the meantime she has killed his affections for her by her words and deeds and his affection goes unanchored now. She refuses to welcome his affectionate and intimate touch in disobedience to the Word>89 . As predicted, Theo is being sexually tempted by Satan and Theo finds himself burning and sometimes failing >90 to control himself when exposed to things like pornography. Tempted, burning and sometimes failing to control himself, Theo finds himself under the command to marry (be having his own wife)>n89. Safronia refuses to help him meet his needs, and he can't divorce her because she claims to be saved >91 . Since she cares not for affection with him, he might exercise his liberty to have a concubine in the manner of Romans 14. If his faith allows him to have a concubine but having a concubine would grieve, offend and/or stumble someone, perhaps even his Arctic wife, then wouldn't he have to exercise his faith's personal liberty by having his concubine privately and discretely between himself, her and God so as not to let his liberty offend the Body of Christ. [Footnote: >88 (1 John 3:14-18). >89 (1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5). >90 (1 Cor. 7:9, see Appendix 6). >.n89 See Appendix Six. >91 (1 Cor.7:10,11,39; Mark 10:1-12).] Then there is the saved couple, Sam and Sophia. He marries Sophia, both genuinely saved and free to marry in the Lord, and they vowed/ covenanted to be husband and wife to each other, pledging their troth in all honor, love, duty, service, faith and tenderness, to cherish and live with each other according to the ordinance of God, honoring and keeping each other in the holy bond of marriage. Before God and other witnesses they promised and covenanted to be each others comforting, loving and faithful mate; in plenty and in lack, in joy and grief; in infirmity and health; as long as they both live. Then Sam hears from Sophia's mouth that the law of kindness and wisdom do not rule her tongue. In fact he hears the carnal, fleshly, diabolical, spirit-killing words that come flooding out of Sophia's mouth during intense outbursts of rage, wrath and frustration. Then she sins by threatening him with the end of the marriage if he didn't do what she wanted him to do. Sam didn't plan it, expect it or desire it but the grief felt, the offense taken, the disappointment felt, and the apprehension induced iced his passions for her and he no longer feels any passion for her. He is unable to have an erection with her unless she physically induces it. He is unable to have an orgasm with her no matter what she does or how hard he tries. Because he has no effective sexual fulfillment or release with Sophia, he comes under the tormenting temptations predicted in 1 Cor. 7:5 & 9 (see the discussion of this burning beginning in the appendix "When Must We Marry") even though he is married and intimate with Sophia. Sam knows that if he doesn't clear his prostrate he will have prostrate congestion in a week. If he doesn't clear the prostrate, he knows his prostrate congestion will become prostititis which will require an antibiotic, and cause him to have to urinate frequently since the prostrate is squeezing the urethra (causing him problems at work and at night). He knows he has no nocturnal emissions, that he mustn't be unfaithful sexually, that if he tries to self-induce an orgasm he will have serious spiritual problems with what he is thinking while doing it, that he can't afford to have the doctor massage out the prostrate's fluids and he can't bear to ask Sophia to stick her finger up his rectal sphincter to massage out his prostrate several times a week. When he tries to self stimulate to orgasm Sophia resents it, feeling cheated. Then he finds that if he thinks of his exwives he can come to orgasm while making love with Sophia. Sophia says she doesn't care who he thinks of just so he has an orgasm with her while making love . But then he finds that about half of the time he can't even come to orgasm with her thinking of his exwives because the memories often are too painful and kill his passion so that he cannot have an orgasm with Sophia. Unable to have the orgasm he needs to clear his prostrate his testosterone blood level climbs and as it climbs the burning and tormenting temptations (1Cor.7:9; Appendix 6) flood his mind and drive him to tormented distraction. Satan is using his high testosterone blood levels to tempt him and distract him from Godly things and life's business at hand. Sophia is tormented with thoughts of inadequacy and failure as she is unable to bring him to climax. Sam finds that even though he is married he is experiencing all the temptations and prostrate problems he experienced as a single man. He goes forward for prayer, for the laying on of hands, for the anointing of oil by the elders and for the counsel of godly counselors. Nothing happens. Still there is no passion for Sophia and no orgasm with Sophia. He grieves for her because he feels her frustration and he is deeply concerned about his own frustration, burning and prostrate congestion. Sophia and Sam have a bitter disagreement and she tells him he must move out an live elsewhere. Sam thinks the marriage is over. Now he has no wife at all to help him put out the flames of his testosterone passion. Then he meets Serena and within weeks begins to talk of marriage with her, even though it would have to be polygyny because he believed he was still bound to Sophia. He makes solemn and binding promises to Serena. Sophia then tells Sam she wanted it to be a temporary separation, that the marriage was still on in her mind and they start having sex again but now Sam finds that he can easily have an orgasm with Sophia by remembering affectionate memories of Serena. Sophia is not happy with Sam's promises to Serena but she is happy with the orgasms. Serena is happy Sam is keeping his promises to her. Finding himself seriously tempted to think improper thoughts of Serena, burning with testosterone desire fo women in general and sensing that failure to control himself/his thoughts (1Cor.7:5,9) is imminent, he submits to God's plan for controlling passionate burning , marriage (1Cor.7:9; Appendix 6), taking genuinely saved Serena as his unofficial concubine, not legal wife, since it is illegal to have two wives. Serena accepts him even though he and Serena both know that he is still bound before the Lord to Sophia as husband. For him to reject, repudiate and forsake his marital bond to Sophia in order to be marital with Serena would make him an adulterer and his marriage to Serena, adultery>215 . Acknowledging his marital bond with both Sophia and Serena he becomes a polygynist, not an adulterer. If Sophia doesn't want to be married to an active polygynist, she can sin by leaving him and repent by remaining chastely single as long as he lives (1Cor.7:10,11). If Sophia chooses to remain married to Sam, then in thought, word and deed he must love each according to his vows/covenants to the best of his God given ability.>124 . If Sophia chooses to remain married to Sam, then Sam can give her the orgasm she wants by thinking of Serena when climaxing with Sophia. [Footnote: >214 1 Cor. 7:11,39. >215 (Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18). >124 See Appendices 4 and 7; (see the pages and scriptures just before the Bibliography).] What kind of sister would be concubine to such a brother? Perhaps one who saw his need>92 and was moved with compassion and, having what he needs she lays down her life for him to minister as wife-concubine to him>93 . Perhaps she feels called to be his good Samaritan concubine in his wounded and neglected need. She would have to be of one mind and one faith with him to be his concubine privately and discreetly so as not to offend the Body of Christ. They would have to agree to deny themselves the free and open exercise of 1 Cor. 7:2-5 and exercise those rights and needs within the limitations of privacy and discretion before God and the Body of Christ>94 . Wouldn't they have to agree not to lie or deceive while on the other hand they would have to agree to obey Rom. 14:28ff in not breaking their commitment to privacy and discretion, even if they have to say nothing when asked? Wouldn't it be a marriage fraught with self denial, self sacrifice and self control? [Footnote: >92 (1 Cor. 7:2-5). >93 (1 John 3:14- 18). >94 (Rom14:28-).] Anyone who did this would have to selflessly and unselfishly seek the protection and well being even of his cold and indifferent wife. He would have to do everything possible to make sure that any concubine he would have would not bring harmful sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV) into the germ pool of their polygyny . That would mean genital cultures, blood tests and abstaining from marital intimacy/ commitment and waiting several months for repeated tests since HIV might not show up for several months. Since STDÕs, including HIV, can be transmitted by bloody saliva in kissing, wouldn't they have to abstain even from kissing until all tests came back okay? What if it is a situation of real need and crisis? What if his wife decided to exercise her option to separate>95 herself from her husband, but not by divorce but by separate beds or separate bedrooms and allowed him no more access to her body for his sexual needs? He is under GodÕs command to not leave or divorce her>96 . She is wife in name only and he has no sexual partner. Hasn't she sinfully set him up for Satan>97 and burning>98 which will compel him to marry or be an adulterer. If it is to marry, wouldn't it have to be with a concubine, since bigamy is illegal in the USA? [Footnote: >95 (1 Cor. 7:10,11). >96 (1 Cor. 7:10,11; Mark 10:9-11). >97 (1 Cor.7:5). >98 (1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Th.4:4,5; Appendix 6).] What a shame most women have no idea of what the average male's testosterone sex drive does to him. I believe it is almost impossible for the average woman to understand the 1 Cor.7:9 burning that a middle to high testosterone blood level male experiences due to his testosterone. Granted about half of males have low mid-range to low testosterone levels as well as nocturnal emission, so they have little or no problem turning off or on their sex lives. The low testosterone level males may have a great deal of difficulty turning on their sex lives. Women have no idea that the sex drive in that half of the male who have mid to high testosterone levels in their blood is as strong and compelling as the hunger drive when the stomach is growling and cramping for lack of food; or as the thirst drive when the tongue, throat and mouth are so dry it is even difficult to talk; as the rest drive when it is impossible to keep the eyes open or the body erect due to utter exhaustion. These same women would not normally ignore such hunger/thirst signs, nor say that they would take cold showers and exercise to overcome such hunger/thirst signs. If they chose to fast, go without food and drink, by the second day they would be too weak to do their daily work and chores, and by the third day they would be too weak walk far or stand for long periods of time. As one who has fasted and prayed three days without food or drink, I know. Yet they fault the mid to high testosterone blood level male for not being able to ignore his compelling sex drive and do without. When the men who are not blessed with natural nocturnal emission (wet dreams) have gone without sexual release for several days, the prostrate becomes so congested that it begins to squeeze shut the urethra so they cannot urinate normally. The effect on the brain is that those males are so distracted and distractible, especially by anything female, that quite literally their minds could be said to be weakened in that it is very difficult to concentrate or focus on necessary tasks. If women could think of their nasal sinuses being so congested that they cannot breath, or of the problems with urination that a woman has with urination when 8 or 9 months pregnant, then maybe they could understand the problems prostrate congestion can cause. Without release, ejaculation, they could become so distracted and distractible by anything that, as with too much alcohol, their judgment and thinking is impaired and foolish (risky), dangerous (AIDS,HIV) or irrational behavior results. A high testosterone male who lacks the discipline of virtuous ethics and morals can be pushed into the full hunter/warrior mentality to find release forthe testosterone induced emotional turmoil/burning he experiences.Such a male, having had no release all week, finds himself planning and strategizing as a hunter/warrior to find his prey that weekend. His testosterone crazed thoughts are entirely selfish. As the rogue lion stalking in the night knows the water holes where his prey gathers, so he stalks in the night seeking female prey to devour. No thought of the females needs or wants except for how they can be exploited to achieve his purpose, the conquest and devouring of his prey. He knows what bait and lures to use to get her on the hook. He says what he knows she wants to hear for her to let her guard down and be vulnerable. He does the little things that will win her confidence so she will let her guard down. He takes her to the place where he can charm and disarm her, free from herfriends who might recognize what he is trying to do to her. He looks the way she likes, talks the way she likes, moves the way she likes, so she decidess to risk it in hopes that at long last this is love! Lonely no more! She yields, little by little. Finally she is almost like clay in his hands and she wants him to passionately and romantically love her, fulfilling her longings and dreams! He takes her. He has her. He devours her using her to satisfy the testosterone burning, raging and roaring through his mind and body. No matter that he leaves his female prey wounded in soul, broken in heart, and emotionally dying in the night. Puzzled, hurt and distraugt she hates him for using and abusing her and she hates herself for letting him do it to her. She is tempted to think that maybe that is what it means to be passionately loved by a man. Or worse yet, she comes to believe that better this abusive love than no love at all. He has had his fill, his fulfillment, his release. He is satiated, drunk with sexual feasting, and is ready to rest. There are such men and the devil, his demons, his body and the world know how to breed and nurture such savage beasts. A high testosterone male who lacks the discipline of virtuous ethics and morals can be pushed into the mentality of full fledged idolatry to find release forthe testosterone induced emotional turmoil/burning he experiences.Such a male, having had no release all week, finds himself planning and strategizing as a worshipper of female sexuality to find his goddess/goddesses for that weekend. His testosterone crazed thoughts are entirely slavish-"Which goddess will let me worship her and celebrate her sexuality this weekend?". Mentally and spiritually enslaved and addicted to finding fulfillment and sexual release in accepting and welcoming female sexuality, he knows where the goddesses gather and where they wait for their addicted worshippers. As Eve was tempted to be like God and Know, so even some females who know that they are not goddesses, BUT WISH THEY WERE, even such females venture out of their lonely love-starved nests in hope of finding a love, perhaps even one who worship and adore them. Whichever the case, the female-worshippers are out there waiting to find fulfillment in the worship of accepting and welcoming female sexuality. No thought of the females' real-life needs or heart-felt wants except for how their sexuality can be used to achieve his purpose, the orgasmic explosive release and soft erotic afterglow experienced in the worship of a goddess. No matter that he leaves his female goddess in the sober reality that she is but mortal, finite and unable to hold him in his worship of her for days and weeks and years. He has had his fill, his fulfillment, his release. He is satiated, drunk with sexual feasting, and is ready to rest. As his rationality returns he sees moles, freckles, warts, hairs, fat wrinkles and smells things that no longer quite smell the same. Sober and rational now he sees that she is not a goddess, but a mere mortal. He may turn in disgust and leave her there and then. He may flee fearing that she too might see that he was not perfect. Or he may cynically decide that the fantasy is what it is all about and decide to play the game again with her next time they have the chance. There are such men and the devil, his demons, the male body and the world know how to breed and nurture such slavish man-beasts. As a male with mid to high testosterone and no nocturnal emission when I was in high school, my Urologist (Vital Haynes,MD), told me I had a few options to prevent my recurring prostrate congestion (which can lead to prostititis and difficulty in urination). Recurrent prostititis can lead to impotence and, eventually, prostrate cancer. A congested prostrate can make it so difficult to urinate, especially if there is a problem with urethral spasms, that it would be necessary to urinate almost every hour and then there is the risk of trigonitis. He said that I, at age 17, could either get married and be intimate frequently, be promiscuous frequently, self-stimulate quite frequently, become homosexual (the penis in the anus squeezes the seminal fluid out of the prostrate), or come into his office two to three times a week for him to massage/press the seminal fluid out of my prostrate (too expensive and embarassing). Cold showers, exercise and being spiritual just did not empty the prostrate so I could urinate normally and have my mind clear of testosterone distractions. A full time mom and homemaking wife knows from experience when her man will be hungry, need a drink and/or be sleepy. A wife who sees her ministry as wife as that of the good Samaritan, as the feeder of the hungry, the clother of the naked, the giver of drinks to the thirsty--- such a wife will see herself as the fulfiller and satiater of her husband. Whether it be like the wife in the movie "Multiplicities" who took as her cue her man's erection and worked it out with him to help him have his release in her body, or like the wife who knows that it has been two or three days since her husband's last orgasm so she takes the initiative and holds/ strokes/rubs/massages his penis until it is erect and the testosterone has him pumping and then helps him have his release in her body--- such a wife fulfills her ministry of ministering to his legitimate and God-given needs. By the grace and enabling of God, the high testosterone blood level male can tame his testosterone driven appetites and go beyond that to unselfishly and compassionately cherish his sexual partner. The hunter/predator/idolator can be kept under the saddle with a bit and a harness if he will but choose to let Jesus hold the reins of his life and ride in the saddle of his life. XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED MAN? What about the divorced Christian husband? Could he just go out and take another wife while his prior Christian wife chooses to remain chastely separated? Would that be selfish? Those who are born of the Spirit of God are led by the Spirit of God, acknowledge Him as Lord in all their ways and love Him by obeying Him. Any act not led by the Spirit or any act that is contrary to the Word of God is sin. Exodus 21:10 states, "If he takes another, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights." It didnÕt depend on her wanting or demanding them. He had to be ready to give to her whether she wanted it or not. In l Corinth. 7:1-4,10,11,39 the separated wife has authority over his body in her right to sexual intimacy with him any time she chooses reconciliation. It is possible that he could know a Christian widow or sister who was burning>99 and under command to marry>100 who had no marital prospects except a Christian man divorced from a chastely separated Christian sister, no other brother wanting to marry her. The divorced Christian man who would like to marry her could be moved as in the following: [Footnote: >99 (1 Cor. 7:9). >100 (1 Tim 5:11- 14).] MKJV 1 JOHN 3:16 ÒBy this we have known the love [of God], because He laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down [our] lives for the brothers. 17 But whoever has this world's goods and sees his brother having need, and shuts up his bowels from him, how does the love of God dwell in him? 18 My children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 19 And in this we shall know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.Ó He could be moved by her plight and pray for an unencumbered husband for her. But if God doesnÕt provide another and the sister is burning, having great trouble with and almost succumbing to temptations, his continued prayer alone would be empty piety like in the following: MKJV JAMES 2: 14 ¦ ÒMy brothers, what profit [is it] if a man says he has faith and does not have works? Can faith save him?15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and if one of you says to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled, but you do not give them those things which are needful to the body, what good [is it]? 17 Even so, if it does not have works, faith is dead, being by itself.Ó He would seem to be compelled to intervene, offering himself in marriage to her as he desires anyway, to enable her to obey GodÕs solution for her problem>101 . This could even be the case if his chastely separated and divorced "Christian"Ó wife was carnal and too selfish/rebellious to be moved by her plight and 1 John 3:17 to approve of her divorced Christian manÕs plan to marry her. You donÕt let the saint who seeks GodÕs solution be destroyed because of a carnal saint who resists or refuses compassion and GodÕs solutions. [Footnote: >101 (1 Cor. 7:1,2,3,9; see Appendix Six).] Jesus went ahead and pleased His Father to die for us while his friends and apostles either resisted or could not comprehend the idea. Peter risked the scorn of his fellow apostles when he went to CorneliusÕs house in Acts 10 & 11. Paul rebuked Peter before all and took his stand with the Lord and righteousness when Peter fell into public sin in Galatians 2. If a man is led by the Spirit in conformity with the Word of God to remarry after ÒChristianÓ divorce (let a man examine himself>102 ) then he had better make sure to not forget that his divorced and chastely separated wife is bound to him as wife as long as they both live>103 . He would have to recognize her authority over his body for marital intimacy with her if she ever sought reconciliation. To act contrary to her authority would be the resisting of God's authority in the following: [Footnote: >102 , his motives, his desires, his obligations and make sure they are of 1 John 3:17. >103 1 Cor. 7:11,39; Rom. 7:1-5; Mark 10; Malachi 2.] ROMANS 13: 1 ¦ ÒLet every soul be subject to the higher authorities. For there is no authority but of God; the authorities that exist are ordained by God. 2 So that the one resisting the authority resists the ordinance of God; and the ones who resist will receive judgment to themselves. 3 For the rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the bad. And do you desire to be not afraid of the authority? Do the good, and you shall have praise from it. 4* For it is a servant of God to you for good. For if you practice evil, be afraid, for it does not bear the sword in vain; for it is a servant of God, a revenger for wrath on him who does evil. 5 Therefore [you] must be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience' sake.Ó Most of the godliest men who had the closest and most blessed relationship with God in the Old Testament were polygynists at some point in their lives. A Godly polygynist is not an oxymoron. A Godly polygynist could be and could have been God's man for that moment in history since polygyny never excluded anyone from God's miraculous blessing and intervention. I believe St. Augustine (4th Century AD) had a good word here for such a man. "But those who have not the virtues of temperance must not be allowed to judge of the conduct of holy men, any more than those in fever of the sweetness and wholesomeness of food. . . If our critics, then, wish to attain not a spurious and affected, but a genuine and sound moral health, let them find a cure in believing the Scripture record, that THE HONORABLE NAME OF SAINT IS GIVEN NOT WITHOUT REASON TO MEN WHO HAD SEVERAL WIVES; and that the reason is this, that the mind can exercise such control over the flesh as not to allow the appetite implanted in our nature by Providence to go beyond the limits of deliberate intention. . . .the holy patriarchs in their conjugal intercourse were actuated not by the love of pleasure, but by the intelligent desire for the continuance of their family. . . .NOR DID THE NUMBER OF THEIR WIVES MAKE THE PATRIARCHS LICENTIOUS. But why defend the husbands, to whose character the divine word bears the highest testimony. . . .">.n90 [Footnote: >n90 The CAPS are Tyler's. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. iv; p.290. Yes it is understood that some of the patriarchs, in their conjugal intercourse, might have actually been motivated by the conjugal pleasure of Prov. 5:18,19; Song of Solomon; Eccles. 9:9-------actually obeying God's command.] XVII. POLYGYNY, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE. Husband of one wife: Yes! Definitely! An elder/overseer/bishop/ superintendent of a church must be the husband of only one wife. Are we all elders/overseers/bishops/ superintendents? Clearly not. The unmarried are not. The married who have unruly children are not. Husbands with disrespectful, uncooperative and defiant wives are not. The married and unmarried who are unable to teach are not. All novices are not. Those with a bad reputation, earned or unearned, among the unsaved through slander or misunderstandings are not. Those who donÕt want a church leadership position are not. That includes most of us, and most of us are not covered by the injunction to be the husband of only one wife. 1 Cor. 7:33 and 34 with Eph. 5:22-32 show why an elder can have only one wife: MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7:33ÓBut the [one] who is married cares for the things of the world, how to please [his] wife. 34 The wife and the virgin [are] different. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband.Ó MKJV EPHES. 5:22 ÒWives, submit yourselves to [your] own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ [is] the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it . . . 28 So men ought to love their wives as their [own] bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his [own] flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord loves the church. . . . 33 But also let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife that she defers to her husband.Ó With one wife would he have the time to invest in the needs of the local church under his care. The local church would be the equivalent of a second wife for him due to the time and energy he would have to invest to do the work well. There are only so many hours in the day and we all have only so much strength and energy. Beyond that the work must fall to some one else. A polygynist church elder would fall short of Matt. 6:33 due to time pressures, - - - - MKJV MATT. 6:33 ÒBut seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.Ó - - - - - -fall into disobedience of the following with his wives, - - - - MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 ÒThe wife does not have authority over [her] own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan does not tempt you for your incontinence.Ó - - - - his prayers would be hindered according to the following - - - - - DARBY 1 PETER 3: 7 Ò[Ye] husbands likewise, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, as with a weaker, [even] the female, vessel, giving [them] honour, as also fellow-heirs of [the] grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.Ó - - - - - - -and the church would be poorly served due to his lack of time and energy. There is the problem of the polygamous mentality. A man who has learned to love passionately and maritally more than one wife at one time would be more vulnerable to sexual temptation in church ministry than a man who has learned to love passionately and maritally only one wife at a time. A ministering polygamist in a leadership position would be more likely to be tempted to accept the advances/ propositions of an unmarried sister in the church who falls in love with him and he with her. This could result in sex outside of marriage (fornication) or yet another addition to his polygamous "harem". This would stumble the saints and would be a reproach to the unsaved. It would appear that a godly polygamist would have to have a very low profile (no leadership position) in the church. XVIII. POLYGYNY, CONCUBINES AND THE MODERN OR WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN. Why would a Western/Occidental woman ever consider polygyny /concubinage? It is clearly a sin to marry an unsaved person> 104 . She knows she must not marry an unsaved man>105 or a snared-in-sin "saint">106. If a Christian woman in a Western church finds the usual shortage of godly brothers, yet earnestly desires marriage or is commanded to marry>91 she may consider marrying a Christian brother (1) whose ÒChristianÓ wife has divorced him exercising her option>107 to be separate and chaste, or (2) who sinfully divorced his ÒChristianÓ wife who now will not forgive him or be reconciled to him, exercising her option to be separate and chaste. [Footnote: >104 (2 Cor. 6 & 7 etc.). >105 (2 Cor. 6:14-7:2). >106 See Appendix five. >91 See Appendix Six. >107 1 Cor 7:10.] If this Western Christian sister is burning with passion and not successfully controlling her passions and/or imagination consistently, she must marry>92. If she finds herself in repeated defeat morally and spiritually and the only Christian brother who is available or interested is the one who is legally divorced from a Christian wife who wants chaste separation without reconciliation, the choice to marry in Biblical polygyny would be more acceptable than continued burning and moral defeats. It is clearly a sin to marry an unsaved>#5 or backslidden Christian>108 . It is not a sin to exercise personal liberty in Christ in covenanted polygyny .Yes, the polygyny of being married to a divorced Christian man who is bound for life to his former wife who left/ divorced him and refuses to be reconciled to him, exercising her option of chaste separation. [Footnote: >92See Appendix Six. >#5 See Appendix #5. >108 (l Cor. 5:11; 2 Thess 3:6,14).] Would born-again Thusnelda be willing to take the chance of having to share her preciously rare godly husband with a sister-in- Christ Felicia who had previously been married to ThusneldaÕs husband and who now wants reconciliation, even if it had to be informal, discreet and private? Can l John 3:17 mean that Thusnelda, who has a godly husband and sees her sister Felicia in marital need now, should not shut up her own heart from Felicia, according to the Love of God abiding in her? Sarai had a need and asked Abraham to become a polygamist. Rachel had a need and asked polygamist Jacob to take her maids as additional wives. Then Leah did the same and the world got the twelve tribes of Israel. A godly wife should not be selfish, seek her own, but should seek the benefit of others>109 and she who is strong should bear the burden of the weak one>110 as the Spirit and peace of God lead. Consider St. Augustine's thought: [Footnote: >109 (1 Cor l3). >110 (Rom 15).] ÒClearly with the good will of the wife to take another woman, that from her may be born sons common to both, by the sexual intercourse and seed of the one, but by the right and power of the other, was lawful among the ancient fathers: whether it be lawful now also, I would not hastily pronounce....Ó>n93 [Footnote: >n93 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; p. 406.] Does the principle of the good Samaritan enter here? Would godly wife ÒAÓ share her godly husband with the needy godly sister "BÓ, essentially laying down her own life and denying herself for the other? It is definitely not natural or carnal. The only precedents I'm aware of are like the one that involved Ruth, where the widow's need for a husband's care and intimacy to carry on the blood line was taken up by God and he mandated that the brother, married or not, had to marry her and meet her needs>111 The only similar New Testament passages I know of are the following - - - - - - - - - - - [Footnote: >111 (Gen. 38: 9,10,11; Deut.25:5-10; Ruth 4:1-11; Matt 22:24ff; Mark 12: 19ff;Lk. 20:28ff).] MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 8 ÒI say therefore to the unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self- control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn. . . . 36 ¦ But if anyone thinks [it] behaving himself indecently toward his virginity (if he is past [his] prime, and so it ought to be) let him do what he will; he does not sin; let them marry. 37 But [he] who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but who has authority over [his] own will (and has so judged in his heart that he will keep his virginity) he does well. 38 So then he who gives in marriage does well. But he who does not give in marriage does better. 39* ¦ The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord. MKJV 1 TIM. 5: 11 But refuse younger widows, for whenever they grow lustful against Christ, they desire to marry . . .14 Therefore I want the younger ones to marry, bear children, guide the house, giving no occasion to the adversary because of reproach.Ó Here the widow is told to remarry in the Lord but she isn't told who to marry in the Lord. 1 John 3:16,17 could enter here with a Christian brother seeing her marital need and marrying her to minister and serve her as husband (like Ruth & Boaz). Are saints today capable of such mental and Spiritual "self-control" and self denial? A Spirit filled and Spirit led saint could rise to such a level>112 . The women described above would be comparable to St. Augustine's man of the following: [Footnote: >112(Gal. 5 and Phil. 2:13 + 4:13).] "But those who have not the virtues of temperance must not be allowed to judge of the conduct of holy men, any more than those in fever of the sweetness and wholesomeness of food. . . If our critics, then, wish to attain not a spurious and affected, but a genuine and sound moral health, let them find a cure in believing the Scripture record, that THE HONORABLE NAME OF SAINT IS GIVEN NOT WITHOUT REASON TO MEN WHO HAD SEVERAL WIVES; and that the reason is this, that the mind can exercise such control over the flesh as not to allow the appetite implanted in our nature by Providence to go beyond the limits of deliberate intention. . . .the holy patriarchs in their conjugal intercourse were actuated not by the love of pleasure, but by the intelligent desire for the continuance of their family. . . .nor did the number of their wives make the patriarchs licentious. BUT WHY DEFEND THE HUSBANDS, TO WHOSE CHARACTER THE DIVINE WORD BEARS THE HIGHEST TESTIMONY, WHEN IT APPEARS THAT THE WIVES THEMSELVES . . . WHEN THEY FOUND THEMSELVES BARREN, THEY GAVE THEIR HANDMAIDS TO THEIR HUSBANDS; SO THAT WHILE THE HANDMAIDS HAD THE FLESHLY MOTHERHOOD, THE WIVES WERE MOTHERS IN INTENTION .">.n94 [Footnote: >n94 The CAPS are Tyler's. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. iv; p.290.] What if he and his wife know a widow or a "sister" abandoned by her unsaved husband who has come under the commands to marry >113 ? They and she cannot find a "brother" for her and she is failing and burning and under the command to marry. Does it become a 1 Jn 3:16,17 situation: [paraphrased] Ô.He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has a godly husband and sees her sister in need, shuts up her heart from her refusing to share her husband with her in polygyny , how does the Love of God abide in her?Õ See the following and note that the "brother" is not exempted or excused from this law if he is already married: [Footnote: >113 1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Th. 4:3,4,5 and 1 Tim. 5:11-14] MKJV DEUT. 25: 5 ¦ ÒIf brothers live together, and one of them dies and has no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry outside to a stranger. Her husband's brother shall go in to her and take her as a wife for himself, and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. . . 7 And if the man does not want to take his brother's wife, then let his brother's wife go up to the gate to the elders and say, My husband's brother refuses to raise up a name in Israel to his brother. He will not perform my levirate. 8 Then the elders of his city shall call him and speak to him. And [if] he stands and says, I do not desire to take her, 9 then his brother's wife shall come to him in the presence of his elders, and take off his shoe from his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done to that man who will not build up his brother's house. 10 And his name shall be called in Israel, The house of him who has his shoe taken off.Ó Like the movie, SUBSTITUTE WIFE (Farrah Fawcett), where the wife was dying and knew her husband wouldn't remarry without her intervention, leaving her baby and children motherless, she went out and found a concubine for him and brought her home to him before she died, whom he married and loved after her death at his deceased's request. An American, a normal woman, could only do such a thing by the grace of God. XIX. WHATÕS WRONG WITH POLYANDRY? Why can't a Christian woman have more than one husband? Because God has made it crystal clear in the following: MKJV GENESIS 1: 26 ¦ ÒAnd God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after our likeness. . . . 27 And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created them male and female. 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply and fill the earth, and subdue it. . .Ó MKJV GENESIS 2: 20 ÒAnd Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field. But there was not found a suitable helper for Adam. 21 ¦ And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh underneath. 22 And the LORD God made the rib (which He had taken from the man) into a woman. And He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. [She] shall be called Woman because [she] was taken out of man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh.Ó MKJV GEN. 3:16 ¦ ÒTo the woman He said, I will greatly increase your sorrow and your conception. In pain you shall bear sons, and your desire shall be toward your husband, and he shall rule over you.Ó MKJV 1 CORINTH. 11: 1 ¦ ÒBe imitators of me, even as I also [am] of Christ. 2 But I praise you, brothers, that you remember me in all things, and you keep the doctrines as I delivered [them] to you. 3 But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. 4 Every man praying or prophesying with [his] head covered dishonors his Head. . . . 7 For a man indeed ought not to have [his] head covered, because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is [the] glory of [the] man. 8 For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. 9 Nor was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. . . . 11 But neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. 12 For as the woman [is] of the man, even so the man [is] also by the woman; but all things ofGod. Ò Those passages make it very clear that the wife is under the authority of the man even though he is no better no godlier than her. If she joins herself to another while he lives >114 it is adultery, even if she has a perfectly legal divorce decree from the government since GodÕs laws are the final word. So why then does God allow men to have more than one wife but allow a wife to have only one husband? Why the three double standards (e.g>. 1. the male can be polygamous, but not the female; 2. the wife can separate herself chastely from her husband, but he may not separate himself from his wife at all; 3. The wife may not rule over the husband, but the husband must take the lead as her servant and she must make the choice whether or not to follow him)? [Footnote: >114 (l Cor. 7:39 and Romans 7:1-5; Mark 10:1-20).] This does not mean that women are second class citizens in the Kingdom of God, because the Word is clear>115, that even now in the spiritual realm - seated with Christ now in the heavens- there is no difference between males and females in their rights, privileges and responsibilities. In terms of the spiritual warfare and influence seen in Daniel 10 and Ephesians 6:10-20, females and males have equal opportunities to be used of God mightily and effectively. [Footnote: >115 in Galatians 3:26,27,28; Ephesians 2:6, 19-22 and Matthew 19:10-12 and 1 Peter 3:7.] So there is now no difference between the sexes in spirit in Christ in the heavens. But our spirits are also now in our bodies on earth in the realm of Satan, the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now works in the sons of disobedience. Our reborn spirits, the Holy Spirit, now lives in our flesh and blood bodies, which flesh and blood bodies cannot receive our inherit the Kingdom of God and are at war >116 with the Spirit in us. When our bodies are transformed by Jesus they will not have blood and they will obviously have transformed flesh no longer under the influence of hormones, germs etc. [Footnote: >116 (Romans 7:13- 8:11; Galatians 5:16- 26).] So being in the body now has its problems and limitations. Being in the body on earth is a real handicap in terms of the Spirit because we daily have to practice Romans 6:1-14, crucifying the flesh daily>117 . The woman's body was designed and created to help/assist man>118 . Adam needed no spiritual companion because he had spiritual communion with Jesus daily in the garden. His body needed a female body and the female body needed a compatible spirit to be the kind of flesh- spirit helper Jesus designed her to be. They were completely equal in the garden, like we will be in the spiritual realm of the heavens with Christ, especially when we reign on earth with Him for a thousand years after the tribulation. But they failed to obey in the garden and ruined that wonderful arrangement so temporarily we have the Òdouble standardsÓ. [Footnote: >117 (Colos. 3:5). >118 (Gen.2:18; l Cor. 11:1-10).] Genesis 3 and l Corinthians 11 show the tragic consequences of their sin. Yes, their sin. I really like the radio preacherÕs idea that Adam knew that she would die for eating that fruit, so being compelled by his love and need for her he decided to die with her rather than to lose her and so he also ate the fruit. His fear of God was still greater than his love for her, yet not great enough to keep him from eating the fruit, so he blamed her when he was confronted by Christ. Maybe that is why Jesus made such a big deal in Luke 14 etc. that we must love Him more than we love our loved ones. See St. Augustine>.n95 who makes the same points. [Footnote: >.n95 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. V; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., pp. 267ff.] Yes there are some cultures in the world today where they practice polyandry in matriarchal systems, but that doesn't make it moral or right, no more than the temple prostitutes of India's classical Hinduism makes prostitution right or moral. Pornographers in America present the spectacle of three men having simultaneous intercourse with one woman where the number of the woman's lovers is only limited by the number of orifices in her body that allow penetration. I don't think anyone, especially any godly woman, would argue that this is justification for a woman to have more than one husband at a time. Polyandry may be a way that seems right to some, but the ends thereof are the ways of death and alienation from the God who created the wonder of woman. The male was the rough draft, the female is the masterpiece---- to be handled with tender loving care and thanksgiving to God. XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT- TEACHERS RULE . . .? The husband who is said to "rule" over his wife, is the same husband who is commanded over and over again in Eph. 5 to compassionately cherish her. A ruler-husband who compassionately cherishes his wife? Big words, but what do they mean? They mean that when he "rules over" his wife he-------- 1. Meekly (Spiritually controlling his superior strength so as to be gentle) chersihes her without envy or jealousy. 2. Patiently bears ill treatment from her. 3. Is kind and gentle to her. 4. Mellows that which would be harsh or austere for her. 5. Does not brag or show off with her. He is not haughty to her. 6. Does not act unbecomingly with her, free of arrogance or bad manners. 7. Is unselfish and selfless with her, not insisting on his own rights or way. 8. Does not become touchy, resentful, irritated, provoked, exasperated, angry with her. 9. Does not take into account any evil she may do to him, holding no grudges. 10. Does not take pleasure or delight in evil with her. 11. Rejoices with her in the truth. 12. Endures all her things. 13. Optimistically believes her and in her. 14. Hopes the best for and in her. 15. Courageously bears up under all her trying ways. 16. Is committed to let Christ's Love in him for her never fail. 17. Intelligently and wisely conducts his home life with her. 18. Holds her in particular honor, considerately showing all due respect. 19. Renders to her what Christ says is due her, recognizing her sexual authority over his body, not denying her intimate marital affection. [Footnote: See Wuest's Expanded New Testament and the Amplified Bible for 1 Cor.7, 13; Ephes. 5; Luke 22:25,26,27 and 1 Peter3:7] THIS MAKES A GREAT CHECK LIST FOR SELF EVALUATION. Such a ruler would be welcome in any sane and god- fearing realm, with great enthusiasm by the subjects. If the husband is like this to the wife, then the wife would be encourage to behave similarly to her children, and then the children would be encouraged to behave similarly to each other ------ and the world would be a better place. Of course any saint knowledgable in the Word knows that it is impossible for us to generate this behavior on our own. As we reckon our selves indeed to be dead to sin/evil, we yield our minds and bodies to Him and trust Him to work His will in us by His Holy Spirit, inspiring and enabling us to yield ourselves to Him so He can rule and live that way in us (Romans 6; Phil.2:12,13; 4:13; Heb. 13:290,21). The husband "rule" over the wife?!?! "How primitive and barbaric!" But didn't God say to the woman " your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you"? "That's just the Old Testament! It's irrelevant and out of date, besides being primitive and barbaric!" -------- Well what does God say about people who feel that way? MKJV 1 CORINTH. 14:37 ÒIf anyone thinks to be a prophet, or a spiritual one, let him recognize the things I write to you, that they are a commandment of the Lord. 38 But if any is ignorant, let him be ignorant.Ó MKJV 1 THESS. 4: 8 ÒTherefore he who despises does not despise man, but God, who also has given us His Holy Spirit.Ó MKJV ACTS 7:51 ¦ ÒO stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers [did], so you do.Ó MKJV ROMANS 9: 19 ÒYou will then say to me, Why does He yet find fault? For who has resisted His will? 20 No, but, O man, who are you who replies against God? Shall the thing formed say to Him who formed [it], Why have you made me this way? 21 Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make one vessel to honor and another to dishonor?Ó MKJV 2 TIMOTHY 3: 8 ÒBut as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so these also resist the truth, men of corrupt mind, reprobate concerning the faith. 9 But they shall proceed no further. For their foolishness shall be plain to all, as theirs also becameÓ. The husband should not lord it over (exercise lordship) or tyrannize/ suppress the wife, according to the following: MKJV 1 PETER 5: 5 ¦ ÒLikewise, younger ones, be subject to older ones, and all being subject to one another. Put on humility. For God resists proud ones, but He gives grace to the humble. 6 Therefore be humbled under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time . . .Ó MKJV LUKE 22: 25 ÒAnd He said to them, The kings of the nations exercise lordship over them. And they who exercise authority on them are called benefactors. 26 But you [shall] not [be] so: but the greater among you, let him be as the lesser, and he who governs, as [one] who serves.Ó 1 TIM. 2: 9¦ In the same way also, I desire that wives adorn themselves in decent clothing, with modesty and sensibleness, not [adorned] with braiding, or gold, or pearls, or costly clothing, 10* but with good works, which becomes wives professing godliness. 11* Let the wife learn in silence with all subjection. 12* But I do not allow a wife to teach, or to exercise authority [over] a husband, but to be in silence. AND 1 CORINTH. 14:34 Have your wives keep silence >a in the churches, for it is not permitted to them to speak >b , but [they are commanded]to be subjecting >c themselves , as also says the Law. 35. And if they will learn anything, have them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for wives to speak in the church. [Footnote: See the Greek for this interpretation: wife and woman is the same Greek word, man and husband is the same Greek word, it is the context that shows what the word means. >a See l Cor. 14:28,30; Acts 12:17; 15:12 for the Greek usage. >b See 1 Cor. 14:27,28,29; Eph. 5:19; Acts 26:26; John 8:44; 9:21. >c See Arndt & Gingrich and Thayer Lexicons] A wife should not obey her husband if and when he tells her to do something that is contrary to the explicit, plain and uncontested Word of God. By "explicit, plain, and uncontested" I mean that the majority of fundamental, orthodox, evangelical and traditional Christian Bible teachers/preachers/ authors agree on the meaning of that portion of scripture, e.g. "Honor your parents!". I don't mean those portions of scripture that are characterized by parables, allegories or symbolism where you find so much disagreement. I mean that if her husband tells her to steal, lie, fornicate or blaspheme, she knows that such conduct is contrary to the will of God for her so she doesn't obey him. On what grounds? Throughout the Bible God makes it plain that we are to obey our parents and the social/civil authorities over us>^. God makes it very plain that if our parents or the social/civil authorities over us tell us to disobey the clear and explicit will of God, we must disobey>* them in order to obey God. This is true of the state over the citizen, parents over children, and husbands over wives. If the one occupying your culture's place of authority over you tells you to do that which is contrary to the clear, explicit and plain Word of God, then you must disobey the one in authority in order to obey God. So the husband who tells his wife not to go to church, pray or read her Bible-----that husband has to be disobeyed, with all due respect, humility, grace and amiability and without preaching, teaching or lecturing>``. [Footnote: >^=(Romans 13; Heb. 13:7,21 etc.). >*Ezek. 20:17,18; Daniel 3:13-18; 5:21; 6:7-11; Deut. 1:13-18; 17:8-13; Acts 4:15-21; 5:20,29,40,42; 23:5. >`` (Luke 6:27-36; Galat. 6:1; 2Tim.2:24-26 and 1 Peter 3:1-6). The husband exercises his authority as "head" of the wife by humbly teaching>119 her what she should do/say and by being a good example of how she should act/speak >120 . THE HUSBAND HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE HIS WIFE DO WHAT HE WANTS HER TO DO AND HE HAS NO SCRIPTURAL RIGHT TO BOSS OR ORDER HER ABOUT>121 . If his wife resists his lead and authority, or just rebels outright, he can compassionately but firmly admonish and rebuke her humbly and gently according to the following: [Footnote: >119 2 Tim. 2:24-26. >120 (Hebrews 13:7, 17,). >121 (Luke 22:25,26;1 Peter 5:5).] MKJV GALATIANs 6: 1 ¦ ÒBrothers, if a man is overtaken in a fault, you the spiritual ones restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ.Ó MKJV 2 TIMOTHY 2:24 ÒBut the servant of [the] Lord must not strive, but to be gentle to all, apt to teach, patient, 25 in meekness instructing those who oppose, if perhaps God will give them repentance to the acknowledging of [the] truth, 26 and [that] they awake out of the snare of the Devil, having been taken captive by him, so as to do the will of that one.Ó MKJV LUKE 17: 3 ÒTake heed to yourselves. If your brother trespasses against you, rebuke him. And if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he trespasses against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turns again to you, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him.Ó MKJV MATTHEW 18: 15 ¦ ÒBut if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear [you], take one or two more with you, so that in [the] mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] to the church. But if he neglects to hear the church, let him be to you as a heathen and a tax-collector.Ó MKJV 1 CORINTH. 5: 3 ÒFor as being absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed have judged already [as though I were] present [concerning] him who worked out this thing; 4 in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, with my spirit; also, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ; 5 to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 8 Therefore let us keep [the] feast; not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened [bread] of sincerity and truth. . . 11 But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either . . . or an idolater, or a reviler, . . . with such a one not to eat.Ó After having done all of the above, when his wife is uncooperative or rebellious, he has to leave the results to the Lord/Spirit even if she is difficult and defiant. THE HUSBAND HAS NO RIGHT OR AUTHORITY FROM GOD TO FORCE, COERCE OR INTIMIDATE HIS WIFE IN ORDER TO MAKE HER GIVE IN UNWILLINGLY AND DO WHAT HE WANTS HER TO DO>122 His business and duty is to compassionately cherish her. [Footnote: >122 (Luke 22:25,26;1 Peter 5:5; Eph. 6:9; Col. 4:1)] When her husband is verbally or physically abusive, dictatorial, tyrannical, unkind, harsh and/or wicked, the Godly wife FIRST>^ should fast and pray for her husband who spitefully abuses her, do good to her husband who hates her, bless him when he curses her>^, humbly and meekly tell him privately what he is doing that offends and grieves her>`,flee for her life as she offers her cheek (from a safe distance) to the dog-husband who strikes her>*; and SECONDLY get her local fellowship group to do Matt. 18:15-20 and/or 1Cor.5:5-14. Then she has to leave the results to the Lord/Spirit if he is difficult and defiant. Her business and duty is to compassionately cherish him and show respect to him even if he has failed the Matt. 18 test and she now relates to him as to an unsaved person>¤. [Footnote: >^ Luke 6:27-42. >` Matt.18:15-18;Gal.6:1; 2Tim.2:24-28. >*Matt. 10:23; 1Cor.7:10,11; Prov.1:10- 19; Prv. 2:10-22. >¤ Eph.5:22-34; Matt.18:17] What a shame most women have no idea of wh