Article 646 of alt.society.revolution: Newsgroups: alt.society.revolution Path: ccs.itd.umich.edu!destroyer!gumby!yale!yale.edu!spool.mu.edu!agate!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!jhinton@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu From: John E Hinton Subject: New Age Apostle's Creed Message-ID: <9302080111.AA09915@bottom.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> Sender: daemon@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu Organization: The Ohio State University Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1993 01:11:05 GMT X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11] Lines: 69 From: Hejirah Society Message-Id: <9302050715.AA15973> Subject: New Age Apostle's Creed Date: Fri, 5 Feb 93 2:15:52 EST X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11] The New Age Apostle's Creed of the year 10 (New Era) 1. I recognize two categories of people: A) Oppressors: all white, male heterosexuals who are able-bodied and of sound mind, with some partial, concessionary exceptions for white, able-bodied, sound-minded, male heterosexuals of Marxist leanings; and B) Victims: all those, human or otherwise, who do not fit into category A, with the exclusion of unborn potential human victims. 2. If am of category B, in order to promote a diverse and pluralistic society, I will devote my life to expressing my indignation at being a victim and to pressuring those of category A to confess their guilt. If I am of category A, I will confess my guilt, grovel on the ground and be constantly sensitive to those of category B, all of whom I have oppressed. 3. I will use inclusive language at all times, and I shall moan and express my indignation at all the linguistic noninclusiveness and insensitivity that I hear or read without regard of the age or culture in which a text has been written. 4. I will be careful not to use any insensitive, ethnocentric or phallocentric imagery or metaphors in my language that may offend the sensitivities of any member of category B, such as the use of the generic 'he, black and white imagery, male, patriarchal metaphors, female metaphors that are not suitable for New Age ideals, or the use of ethnic terms such as 'American Indian', 'black', etc., which have been expired for more than 24 hours. 5. While maintaining the sensitivity and inclusiveness, which are described in points three and four, I will construct my language, arguments and thoughts entirely with euphemisms, buzzwords, cliches, emotive interjections, and ejaculations of discontent that adhere to the thought guidelines of the consensus of category B. 6. If I am a member of category B, I will not do or say anything that might brand me a sexist, racist, homophobe, ablist or a category A sympathizer (i.e. anything that two or more members of the consensus of category B deem as thought crimes). If I am a member of category A, I will confess my sexism, racism and homophobia and do penitence for these sins until I die or change my sexual orientation. 7. If I should involuntarily think any thoughts that the consensus of category B have not approved, I will not express them and I will look forward to the day when the consensus acquires the technological ability to rescue me from the evil thoughts that I am too weak to control. 8. I will be completely critical of the entire history of Western civilization and all Judeo-Christian values, morals, and traditions, and replace them with ________________ (fill in anything that is a deviation from Old Era values that fits the guidelines of this creed). 9. I will persecute, censor and shun any member of category A who fails to comply with the benevolent dictates of this creed, if evidence - i.e. any accusation by a member of category B - is presented against him, or any member of category B who conspires with a member of category A in any manner that may be perceived as insensitive, sexist, racist, ablist or homophobic. 10. I will submit all my thoughts, words and deeds to the scrutiny of the consensus of category B, without questioning or qualification, and accept any reprimands that I may warrant in the event that the consensus should find me guilty of any infraction of the forgoing points of this creed - real or imagined - of which I cannot prove my innocence. SO HELP ME DEITY OF UNSPECIFIED GENDER THAT IS PROBABLY A FEMALE