A
thousand tons of rust growled across the Indian
desert, no faster than a man could run. Jostling
and lurching in unison, a soldier, a saint, and
an atheist shared the train compartment’s
motion. The soldier endured the dusty clatter
with a straight back and an air of discipline,
his eyes intently focused on the wall. His olive
uniform was crisp compared to the disheveled
garb of the other passengers and his boots gleamed
like the eyes of a rat. The saint had a face
all pockmarks and roughness, set with wet, gentle
eyes. Comic and ageless. He cracked many jokes
and with a cigarette for a scepter he traced
delicate patterns in the air.
“You see him?” The soldier, a captain just
back from the Pakistani border near Jaisalmer,
pointed. “He’s a saint. A holy man.
He’s traveling on what you call a … ” The
captain scowled and asked someone in the corridor
a question in Hindi. He turned back. “A pilgrim.” “A
pilgrimage?” “Pilgrimage, yes. He has
no home, just travel.” The saint looked as
if he had traveled through some very dirty places,
perhaps on his hands and knees. When the chai sellers
came into the car, someone bought the saint some
tea; he lit another smoke and held the tiny green
glass with the swagger of Sinatra toasting a whiskey.
The atheist, an American tourist venturing north
to Agra from the blue city of Jodhpur, was glad
to be back on the rails. The roads were dangerous
and the flow of army vehicles to the border was
disconcerting. Two days before, a busload of schoolgirls
had been killed west of Jodhpur in a collision
with a petrol truck. Thirty little bodies were
strewn burning across the road. The mess had been
mostly cleaned up by the time his own bus had crossed
the scene, but hysterical onlookers still clogged
the road and wept. The parched earth of Rajasthan
was accustomed to soaking up such tragedies.
The train took him away from all this. He huddled
in the corner away from the boisterous chatter
of the others; people were poking their heads into
the compartment to catch a glimpse of the saint’s
antics. The captain elbowed the tourist to initiate
conversation, “English?” “American.” “Are
you Christian?” “No.” “Jew?” “No,
I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in
God.” Recoiling for a moment, the soldier’s
eyebrows raised quizzically, as if he were talking
to a fool. The American changed the subject and
they spoke of military matters. The captain shrugged
at the idea of war. “Pakistan, what is Pakistan?
If we wanted to crush them, we could do it in a
few days. A week, maybe.” His expression
became as arrogant as is possible without turning
into a sneer. “The Indian army is ten times
that of Pakistan. No, we don’t worry about
them.”
Black smoke thick as flies spilled off the train,
in through the windows, and onto the atheist. His
eyes became wet like the saint’s and he kept
his face firmly in both hands. The poison fumes
and the Hindi pushed through his ears and nostrils,
fueling the brutal throbbing in his temples. It
was his worst headache ever. He feared his head
would crumble from the pain and once he even eyed
the captain’s revolver in rash suicidal desperation.
Meanwhile, the train made every stop and then some,
bleeding a trail of passengers and dust for some
fourteen hours.
The atheist begged for aspirin. The soldier had
none, but he translated to the others. Grimacing,
the atheist implored everyone nearby except the
saint, who now smoked aloofly across the compartment.
Staring at the ceiling, he lolled on his sole belonging,
a filthy blanket. Soon the whole drugless coach
echoed with the request for aspirin. The atheist
waited futilely for awhile, then collapsed in silent
spasms and stared out the window. The scrub slithered
by nondescriptly. Occasionally, some frail people
appeared on the horizon and hacked at the dust
with tools.
Later, when the headache was verging on delirium,
the soldier tapped the dazed American and pointed
to the saint, who held their gazes for a long moment,
as if he were about to perform a magical rite.
He pulled from his robe’s only pocket an
array of pills, Western painkillers, and in a truly
saintly gesture offered them to the atheist. Fussing
over this, the soldier did not want the saint desecrated
by contact with an “untouchable,” so
he intervened and made the transfer. Aspirin, ibuprofen,
acetaminophen, even codeine: they were all there
in different brands and colors, hiding in a grubby
saint’s pocket like holy beads.
The sampling began and the tiny pharmacy grew tinier.
The saint’s worldly possessions were soon
reduced by half and then consumed by a godless
American. But the saint didn’t seem to mind.
Content with the impressive absurdity of his miracle,
his face remained a wry smile. His vivacity was
infectious and the atheist laughed and laughed
...
The headache went with the desert, away, and dawn
met the train at Agra. Calm fire was the sky, the
Taj Mahal arose stupendous. India was orange and
glorious and atrociously beautiful. The atheist
haggled for a cheap taxi and crawled into the backseat.
An inquiry was shrieked at him, “Where you
going?!” He calmly told the driver to head
into the flame.
Previously published
in The Iowa Review and The Locus Novus.
 JASON
DeBOER is an editor in Madison, Wisconsin.
His work has appeared or is forthcoming
in Quarterly West, Rosebud, Stand, Other
Voices, Clackamas Literary Review, Mississippi
Review, The
Barcelona Review, The Wisconsin Review, CrossConnect,
Pindeldyboz, Failbetter, The American Journal
of Print, The
Paumanok Review, Suspect
Thoughts, Eleven
Bulls, and McSweeneys.net. At the moment,
he is working on "Stupor", his debut novel. |
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